After tomorrow, I will have less large bowel than I have now

Tomorrow morning I check into the University of Maryland Medical Center in Baltimore to have part of my large bowel removed. It’s the part that has been damaged by Crohn’s. The damaged portion is constricted and there’s no way to make it less constricted. That’s why it has to come out.

The surgery will be done by Dr. Andrea C Bafford. I met with her last month and I immediately knew she was someone who was very good at what she does. She exuded unquestionable proficiency. All she does is colo-rectal surgery and I consider myself extremely lucky to have her operate on me.

As of tomorrow, I may be part cyborg

As far as surgery goes, it shouldn’t be too extreme. It will be done using an endoscope so I won’t have to be opened up and gutted like a catfish. The bad part will be removed and then the large bowel will be joined back up with titanium staples. I think technically that means I will then be part cyborg. I look forward to my subsequent special powers, the type of special powers all cyborgs have.

Because of the surgery, today I’m on a clear liquid diet. I can have black coffee, blue colored Mixed Berry Powerade Zero, Jello, chicken broth, and that’s about it. Starting at Noon, I have to begin taking a powerful antibiotic and Clenpiq, a cranberry flavored solution intended to “cleanse the colon.” In other words, it will make me shit my brains out. I had to take something similar for my colonoscopy, but I had to mix it myself and it tasted like rancid ocean water with a hint of lemon-lime. Clenpiq comes premixed and there’s less of it to drink. A lot less.

I also have to shower tonight and tomorrow morning with a special pre-surgical soap. How fancy is that?

Thank goodness for the Kindle and Craig Alanson

I was told to plan on being in the hospital for two to three days. When I was in the hospital for the initial G.I. blockage, which lead to the diagnosis of Crohn’s, I was in the hospital for ten days, nine of those days in intensive care. The thing is, I don’t really remember most of those ten days. I was pretty much out of it most of the time, especially when I was in intensive care.

In comparison, my time at the University of Maryland Medical Center will be much more in real time. Other then the surgery itself, I’ll be awake and fully aware of things. I plan on playing a lot of Candy Crush and reading the newest book in the Expeditionary Force series, Book 6, Mavericks

After tomorrow, I will have less large bowel than I have now - Bent Corner

How nice of Craig Alanson to write it and publish it before my surgery. That was extremely decent of him.

After the surgery, I’ll still have Crohn’s. Originally I thought the surgery would make me Crohn’s-free. That’s not the case. The surgery will only remove the damaged part of my large bowel that the Crohn’s destroyed. Crohn’s will continue to be something I’ll have to deal with.

I imagine being part cyborg will make things easier though.



Leave a Comment

Scroll to Top