The truth behind the first Thanksgiving

If you live in the United States of America, today is Thanksgiving. It’s the day we Americans give thanks for all the wonderful things we have.

The very first Thanksgiving was celebrated by the Pilgrims. They had just defeated the indigenous Wampanoags in a bloody, horrific battle. The Pilgrims attacked the Wampanoag after they noticed delicious smells wafting from the Wampanoag village. Intrigued by the smells, the Pilgrims believed it was a sign from God. They believed God wanted them to kill every Wampanoag man, woman, and child.

The fighting was fierce. The Wampanoags, like most North American Indians, were armed with bows and arrow, knives, clubs, and hatchets.

The blunderbusses, or as it’s more commonly referred to as the Pilgrim assault rifle.

The Pilgrims were armed with those dumb looking blunderbusses guns with a huge horn at the end.

The Pilgrims surely would have lost if it wasn’t for the fact they were protected by the one true God, Pilgrim Jesus. The Wampanoags were godless heathens. Plus, the Wampanoags had no idea the Pilgrims even had ill feelings towards them. The Wampanoags thought the Pilgrims were their friends. It was the type of battle military historians would later describe as a sneak attack.

When the Pilgrims finished slaughtering off the Wampanoag people, they discovered the source of the delicious smells, the trappings of a feist.

Not to pass up free food, the Pilgrims gorged themselves on the Wampanoag food. They had roasted turkey, mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce, sweet potatoes with tiny marshmallows, and green bean casserole. For dessert, there was pumpkin pie.

The day marked the first Thanksgiving. It also marked the day type two diabetes was invented.

As soon as the Pilgrims were done eating, they realized they had a problem. Because the Wampanoag lacked a written language, the recipes for all that food died with the Wampanoag people. Over the years, scientists have worked diligently at duplicating the original Wampanoag recipes.

I think you’ll agree with me, they’ve gotten it pretty close.

Charlie Rose fired for being sexual predator

Esteemed and respected journalist Charlie Rose has been found out as a degenerate sexual harasser or women. From the Washington Post:

Eight women have told The Washington Post that longtime television host Charlie Rose made unwanted sexual advances toward them, including lewd phone calls, walking around naked in their presence, or groping their breasts, buttocks or genital areas.

PBS and CBS responded to the article by firing the 75-year-old journalist.

I just don’t get it. I don’t know what I find more remarkable, that men like Rose have the desire to victimize subordinate women or that they assume they will get away with it. How many are more men like Rose are out there?

There are undoubtedly lots of other men in positions of power making unwanted sexual advances on women.

How can two news organizations not know that someone in their midst was a sexual predator? Both PBS and CBS should be ashamed. How am I supposed to respect 60 Minutes when one of their own presenters was a sexual predator who preyed upon underlings and they didn’t know about it?

If you cannot trust Charlie Rose, and you can’t, you are you supposed to trust?

Marshawn Lynch sits for U.S. anthem, stands for Mexican anthem

The Oakland Raiders played a home game down in Mexico on Sunday, losing to the New England Patriots 33-8. The Raiders losing is nothing new. The big story coming out of Mexico City on Sunday was Raiders running back Marshawn Lynch.

Marshawn Lynch stood for the Mexican National Anthem but sat for the American National Anthem. That’s just rude.

How brainwashed by the Black Lives Matter propagandists Lynch must be to protest your own nation in a foreign country. If the man hates the United States so much, he has the money to immigrate anywhere in the world that would have him. New Zealand, France, Canada, Zimbabwe, or Yemen are only some of the wonderful countries Marshawn Lynch could move to if he wanted to get out from under the oppressive shadow of the boot of the United States.

Considering all the countries in the world that would make a better home for Marshawn Lynch, why does he insist on staying in the United States? If I didn’t know any better, I’d think the United States and its able opportunities stack up quite nicely when compared to the rest of the world.

Charles Manson 1934 – 2017

Charles Manson is finally dead. He was 83.

I’m old enough to remember the fear he and his “family” caused the public. Charles Manson was clearly insane, yet he was condemned to rot in prison, not a mental institution for the rest of his natural life. He also wasn’t sent to the gas chamber, something you would think would be a no-brainer considering the death and terror he left in his wake. He was originally condemned to death, but when California invalidated the death penalty in 1972, his punishment was automatically commuted to life in prison. Then in 1978, California reinstituted the death penalty, but since Manson’s sentence was commuted to life, there was no backsies.

And yes, that was the legal term for it.

I’m glad Manson is dead. It’s one more thing to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.

My favorite part about waking up this morning and finding out Charles Manson was dead was how CNN framed the story. On their website, they have a photo of Manson, followed by that awful and obnoxious Ball basketball family from California, followed by a photo of Sean Hannity looking incredibly constipated.

Of everyone shown, Hannity looks the most miserable.

The New York Post published an interesting cover.

Make room Satan, Charles Manson is finally going to Hell? Manson never personally killed anyone. His followers were the ones who did the actual killing. Manson wasn’t even present for the murder of actress Sharon Tate, undoubtedly the most infamous of the Manson Family victims.

I’d wager there were far worse people in Hell than Charles Manson if Hell actually existed.

GQ names Colin Kaepernick its ‘Citizen of the Year’

I just learned GQ is still a magazine. I also learned they have named former NFL quarterback Colin Kaepernick its Citizen of the Year. Good for them. I’m glad a print magazine is still able to remain viable in 2017. I also value good citizenship.

I’m just not sure what world GQ is living in if they think someone like Colin Kaepernick displays good citizenship.

Kaepernick is the first man who got attention for showing disrespect to the flag and the National Anthem by sitting, not standing like everyone else. His sign of disrespect became his own personal protest. The reason for the protest was the number of black men who had been shot and killed by police officers. As of this morning, 874 people have been shot and killed by police in 2017. Of that number, 424 were white and 203 were black.

I’ve long had a problem with Kaepernick’s misguided attempt to bring attention to police shootings. There is a time and place for everything. Protesting against the United State of America while everyone is paying their respects to the United States of America is not the right time and it’s not the right place.

It’s rude.

Colin Kaepernick has to know what he was doing was rude, but he just didn’t care. It was more important to him that he demonstrated that he was taking a stand (by sitting) for his black brothers and sisters. Kaepernick was born to a white mother who gave him up for adoption when he was six weeks old.  His birth mother says she knows who the birth father is, but she refuses to name him. He was then adopted by Rick and Teresa Kaepernick, a white couple from Wisconsin.

Colin Kaepernick’s blackness is tenuous at best. A biological father who rejected him at birth? That’s his sum total connection to the black community.

People like Colin Kaepernick would have you believe that the United States of America is a racist place. It’s so racist, that a white couple would adopt a baby of mixed race and raise it as their own. If only the rest of the world could be as racist as the United States. The world would be a much better place.

 

Marvel Comics fires Editor-in-Chief Axel Alonso

It finally looks like there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and for once it’s not a freight train hauling a load of weapons-grade Ebola. Marvel Comics fired Editor-in-Chief Axel Alonso, the man responsible for every stupid move at Marvel Comics.

Turning Iron Man into a 15-year-old black girl with big hair, that was Alonso. Turning Thor into a woman, that was Alonso. Replacing Doctor Bruce Banner, the Hulk’s alter ego with some Asian guy, that was Alonso. Retconning Captain America into a sleeper agent for the Nazi-like Hydra? That was Axel Alonso too.

It’s not like any of the sweeping changes orchestrated under Alonso translated into sales. The opposite was true. Low selling books have been the norm the last couple of years under the leadership of Axel Alonso.

C.B. Cebulski is a guy who loves comic books and loves food.

What’s even more remarkable than Axel Alonso getting shown the door is the person replacing him, C.B. Cebulski.

Who’s C.B. Cebulski?

C.B. Cebulski has been working with Disney in China the last few years. Before that, he was an editor popular with writers and artists. More importantly, he seems like a nice guy. Hopefully, he can return Marvel Comics to its once-dominant form. C.B. Cebulski is a comic book guy. He looks like a comic book fan. One look at C.B. Cebulski and you just want to ask him, long boxes or short boxes?

Maybe under C.B. Cebulski, pros will stop attacking fans. Maybe they will start treating fans like people and not just pixels on a screen.

I think if I was an unqualified, social justice warrior diversity hire taking up space at Marvel Comics now, I’d be punching up the old resume.