Shoplifting cuffufle takes place at Hagerstown Target

Someone tried to shoplift from Target last night located behind the Valley Mall on Cole Road. The shopping center is actually in Halfway, not Hagerstown.

When a Washington County Sheriff’s Office deputy tried to stop the shoplifter, the suspected wrongdoer tried to ram their vehicle into the deputy’s vehicle.

Over something shoplifted from Target.

The deputy reacted appropriately to the attempted ramming by firing a shot at the suspect. I don’t think they were hit, but there is a lot that’s not public quite yet.

I hate to say this, but I may have to subscribe to the Herald-Mail, the area’s newspaper of record.

I don’t understand shoplifting. Although there are lots of nice things at Target, most of the high-value things come with anti-theft devices. Buy a pack of Magic The Gathering cards for $4.19 and there’s a sticker. What are people shoplifting? Do they not care about the anti-theft devices? So they just allow the security gate to sound the alarm and they’re happy with the notion of ramming a law enforcement vehicle if it gets in their way? That sounds very JV to me.

I don’t get it.

Update – The suspect is Melson S. Perry

Melson S. Perry

Here’s a photo of last night’s shoplifting suspect. Something tells me he wasn’t trying to steal Magic The Gathering booster packs. Maybe he thought since he had the word “BOSS” tattooed on his neck, the Target employees would just let him walk out with his ill-gotten goods.

Plus, he has a dollar sign tattooed at the center of his unibrow. It makes you think he has money.

Evidently, he was trying to return an iPad box without an iPad inside. From the Herald-Mail:

Troopers said the suspect, later identified as Perry, was known to enter Target stores, where he would return a previously purchased iPad for a refund or gift card. Instead of returning an iPad, however, he would return an iPad box with materials inside to simulate the weight of merchandise inside.

Maybe it’s just me, but this caper doesn’t sound very boss to me, especially when your backup plan is to just ram any law enforcement vehicles that get in your way. Did he know that Washington County deputies carry guns?


Why does Google like making me feel dumb?

I went to Google this morning to look something up and I was confronted with the above screen art. It shows a scientist (I guess) doing something sciencey. Either that he is smoking crack. Maybe he’s doing both.

I have no idea who this guy is.

When I mouse over the image, I learn that it is Har Gobind Khorana and today is his 96th-birthday.

Big deal. Context is everything.

When I turn to Wikipedia, the website dedicated to making people feel more informed, not stupid, I learned that:

Har Gobind Khorana (born 9 January 1922 – died 9 November 2011) was an Indian American biochemist.

He shared the 1968 Nobel Prize for Physiology or Medicine with Marshall W. Nirenberg and Robert W. Holleyfor research that showed how the order of nucleotides in nucleic acids, which carry the genetic code of the cell, control the cell’s synthesis of proteins. Khorana and Nirenberg were also awarded the Louisa Gross Horwitz Prize from Columbia University in the same year.

Wikipedia attempts to teach, Google attempts to make people feel stupid. Most of the time I don’t need Google to make me feel stupid. That’s my default normal feeling.

I’ve had type 2 diabetes for over ten years and I’ve there’s anything I know from the disease, it’s the lack of real knowledge I have about it. I learned yesterday that the best fruit for me to eat with diabetes is cherries.


That small super-sweet stemmed fruit and taste more like candy than they do fruit. They evidently have the glycemic index of all fruits. That means how it affects your blood sugar. Cherries evidently affect it the lowest of all fruits.

I guess I’ll go with that until I read another website with shaking pop-ups and instant quizzes about diabetes.

I went ahead and bought a book on Amazon that is supposed to list the GL values of over 800 foods. If I have to go to one more website and wants me to activate updates just because my cells are lousy at processing insulin, I will throw something.

I didn’t end up in the hospital because of my type 2 diabetes, but it didn’t make things better. It compounded the problem.

Why is the novel of ‘The Last Jedi’ taking so long to publish?

The novel version of Star Wars: The Last Jedi doesn’t hit bookstores until March 6. That’s nearly two months from now. I don’t get it that.

When Star Wars first came out in 1977, the novel version hit bookstores before the movie hit the theaters. I know this because this is how I first consumed the Star Wars story. As a member the Assembly of God church, I was not allowed to attend movies.

Under the 1970’s teachings of the Assembly of God, attending a movie in a theatre was a sin. Reading a book based on a movie in the theatre, not a sin.

It was supposedly written by George Lucas, but everyone now says it was ghostwritten by Alan Dean Foster. I believe them. It came out straight to paperback. I must have read it three or four times before I actually got to break the tenets of my church and see the movie.

This was when things in the Assembly of God church were becoming more relaxed. In retrospect, I believe the rule against movie going was rescinded. I can remember seeing a lot of movies after Star Wars came out. Out in the open and in the town I grew up. It was like there was nothing to hide.

If the novelization for the first Star Wars movie could be released at the same time as the first movie, why is it taking this long for the novelization of The Last Jedi to come out?

I don’t get that.

Now there are a few novels out now that are intended to coincide with the release of the movie, so perhaps they don’t want to muddy the waters with an over saturation of books. Maybe that’s it. Personally, I’m not buying that. The novel of the movie should be considered a separate thing than any of the tie-in books. Maybe you saw something in the movie that didn’t really make sense to you. For instance, Luke’s love of fresh dairy. That was kind of weird. You could then pick up the official tie-in book written by Jason Frey and read the section you don’t quite fully understand.

Something like that.


Donald Trump refers to himself as a ‘stable genius’

Our Commander-in-chief tweeted the following:

I cannot imagine a scenario where a bonafide genius would actually refer to themselves as a genius. I would think that would be the first cut-off to being considered a genius. You refer to yourself as a genius, you aren’t a genius.

What’s he ever done that makes him think he’s a genius? That he ran for president and won the on the first try? What’s that got to do with anything? He simply lucked out. He got to run against Hillary Clinton, one of the most unelectable candidates ever to win the Democratic nomination. Even then he lost the popular vote by almost three million votes.

So many things had to fall into place for him to win the White House. Trump being a genius had nothing to do with it.

He’s never invented anything. It’s not like a created a working lightsaber for something. That would be something I guess. He’s just a tacky real estate guy who slaps his name on stuff along with a lot of gold leaf. That doesn’t make him a genius.

The man is so stupid, he not only thought Barack Obama was born in Kenya, he thought that would make him ineligible to serve as president. No matter where Obama was born (the radical Islamic jungles of Hawaii) he would be eligible to serve as president because his mother was a citizen.

A genius would know that.

I almost died

I got very sick December 20 and took an ambulance trip to Meritus Health – the greatest hospital in the world – and spent over a week in intensive care.

I had a lower G.I. blockage and that resulted in diabetic ketoacidosis. I guess that makes sense since I played with G.I. Joes a lot when I was a kid. Not tiny ones, but the big kind with the Kung-Fu Grip.

I was on an intravenous drip the whole time. My arms, feet, legs, and hands are puffy and feel like overinflated balloons. I weighed myself this morning and I have an extra 16 pounds in water weight. I’m still on steroids, so that might be part of the issue too.

If you look at the photo, the large rubber hose in my nose is what was draining the toxins from my body. I attribute this to all the 80’s music I’ve listened to over the years. If I said I had not listened to Spandau Ballet since the 1980s, I’d be lying.

Oh, and when the good people at the hospital offer to install a catheter, take them up on it. It makes it easier for the people caring for you and it makes it easier for you. Pride is something best left in the parking lot at the hospital.

It’s so good to be home. Most of my time in the hospital was a blur. It involved a lot of hallucinations and not the good kind. I missed Christmas and Sheri is telling me it’s already 2018. I would be lost if it wasn’t for Sheri. She was there the whole time for me and remains so now.

I’ve discovered the nicest thing I can ever tell anyone is that I hope they have someone like Sheri in their life. The greatest curse I could lay upon someone’s feet? That they will never have someone like Sheri in their life. She’s wonderful, my best friend and I love her so much.

‘Sunday Night Football’ is taking a giant hit in the ratings

From CNN:

NBC’s “Sunday Night Football” match up between the Baltimore Ravens and the Pittsburgh Steelers brought in 17.2 million viewers on Sunday night. That number was down 35% from last year’s Dallas Cowboys and New York Giants game, which was the most-watched prime time regular season since Thanksgiving 2015.

Yes. NFL viewership is down. That should be no big surprise.

For one thing, NFL football, like all sports is boring. For every second of excitement, there are minutes of complete boredom. There are too many commercials in between the boredom. I used to think the commercials were needed because of what was going on to get the field ready for play. That’s not so. I’ve gone to a few NFL games and during the times where commercials are being shown on TV, the players are just standing around with their hands on their hips waiting to play.

People are tired of being bored when they watch TV.

Another problem with the NFL is the perception that its players are criminals and thugs. I believe this perception is due mostly to the fact that many of the players are criminals and thugs. After a while of hearing about player legal problems, fans and casual viewers begin to form an opinion that’s hard to shake, not that it even deserves to be shaken. A long time ago, the NFL decided that it was okay to field players who had a not-so-normal propensity of running afoul of the law. Nobody is forcing the NFL to draft players out of college who seem like they will be bad citizens.

The thing that’s killing the NFL now is its stance on the National Anthem protests. It bothers people, casual viewers of the NFL, that so many of its players are refusing to stand up and show their respect during the National Anthem. What’s even worse are players, American players, who sit during our National Anthem, but stand for the Mexican Anthem. The NFL’s reaction to all this?


This shirt runs $39.99 on the website. Am I supposed to believe they aren’t wetting their beak on any of it? Sure.

Nothing unless you count the league’s stupid Salute to Service gimmick. It’s where they make officially licensed clothing styled with military coloring. The NFL claims they do not profit from the sale of Salute to Service products. I do not believe them.

If the NFL really wanted to salute the service of people who have served in the military, they would make their players stand for the National Anthem. They would also offer a discount to military veterans on their overpriced crap. The National Anthem is a big deal to the military and its veterans. Perhaps if anyone in a leadership position within the NFL had served in the military, they would know that.

If the NFL wants to increase viewership, make the games less boring. Eliminate all the commercials breaks. If networks need to tell viewers what products and services they should be buying, put something at the top of the screen. Stop fielding players who if it wasn’t for the NFL, would be selling drugs or serving time in prison for selling drugs. Stop allowing players to disrespect the National Anthem.