Stop mass shootings by federalizing the power of prayer

One way to stop mass shootings in this country that doesn’t require new gun control laws is to harness the power of prayer. You hear a lot of people, especially Republicans, talk about “thoughts and prayers” after a mass shooting. What if the “thoughts and prayers” took place before a mass shooting?

My idea is to create a branch of Homeland Security that would be responsible for creating a constant federalized prayer vigil against mass shootings. Federal agents across the country would engage in prayer, twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, asking Jesus to stop people like Nikolas Cruz from walking into a school with a legally acquired assault weapon and murdering 17 people, most of them children.

It’s based on common sense. The time to ask Jesus for help is before a problem happens, not afterward.

I would call this agency Jesus Make it Stop, JMIS for short, pronounced “jay miss.”

Stop mass shootings by federalizing the power of prayer - Bent Corner
Dramatization of a Jesus Make it Stop (JMIS) federal agent performing his duty.

Agents for JMIS would be selected from churches from all over the country. To be considered for JMIS, a person would need to be nominated by their pastor. This will ensure only people who have a reputation as strong, powerful prayers will be considered for service in JMIS. Plus, the pastor would know if the person was up to date on their tithes and offerings. You don’t want someone in JMIS who has been stiffing God on his ten percent.

Needless to say, divorced people, gays, Catholics, Democrats, and Mormons would be excluded from JMIS. It would send the wrong message to have people like that as sworn federal agents asking Jesus for his help. The goal is to stop mass shootings, not cause more of them.

I’d like to see the Trump administration get working on creating JMIS right away. Ideally, President Trump would be hands-off with the creation of the JMIS agency. Anyone who pays a porn actress to have sex with him should stay clear of JMIS.

Stop mass shootings by federalizing the power of prayer - Bent Corner
Man of God and vice president of the United States, Mike Pence.

I would put Vice President Mike Pence in charge for creating the agency. He’s a bonafide man of God and a strong, powerful prayer. Word has it that he can pray the gay out of people. That’s powerful.

Mike Pence could then enlist the help of other men of God in creating JMIS, men like Joel Osteen. Pastor Osteen could be Vice President Pence’s number two. When people think of Joel Osteen, number two often comes to mind.

Stop mass shootings by federalizing the power of prayer - Bent Corner
It’s kind of hard to tell with all the botox and plastic surgery, but this is Joel Osteen on the cover of his latest book, “Blessed in the Darkness.” It features advice and wisdom he forgot to include in any of his other 14 books.

Pastor Osteen presides over a church the size of an NBA basketball arena and he’s always writing books on living a Godly life that are sold at Walmart, Sam’s Club, and other fine retailers. Pastor Osteen would make a perfect addition to the JMIS formation team.

I would also include that guy who built that creation museum in Northern Kentucky, the one with the life-size Noah’s Ark. Rounding out the JMIS formation team would be Kirk Cameron and the one Baldwin brother who’s a born-again Christian.

The least successful one.

If the Jesus Make it Stop federal agency is as successful as I believe it will be, it will allow us to relax the gun control laws we already have. It’s no secret that one of my dreams is to one day own a working bazooka.

Stop mass shootings by federalizing the power of prayer - Bent Corner

For some reason, current gun control laws don’t allow the personal ownership of working bazookas. Hopefully, with JMIS, that will change.

Whatever we are doing to stop mass shootings is not working

Nikolas Cruz, a 19-year-old white nationalist walked into Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School located in Parkland, Florida armed with an AR-15 style assault weapon and murdered 17 people, including both adults and children.


White nationalist Nikolas Cruz.

It seems pretty obvious to me at this point that whatever we’re doing to stop these mass shootings isn’t working. Maybe it’s time we tried to do something else.

We can’t ban guns because it says in our Constitution that citizens are allowed to keep and bear arms. Granted, at the time that was written with a feather pen, an “arm” could fire up to three rounds a minute if the shooter was trained and had a lot of practice.

We’re incapable of amending that antiquated clause in the Constitution because a tiny but vocal minority of our population likes guns and refuses to allow the rest of us to ban then for our own safety. Plus, they’re very well funded and in a democracy like ours, that’s important. It shouldn’t be, but it is.

So guns are here to stay.

The Washington Post reports that there are approximately 357 million firearms in the United States. That’s forty million more than there are people.

So if we can’t ban guns, it may be time to do the complete opposite. Allow every law-abiding citizen with a clean criminal record and free of mental defect to arm themselves. Require them to first pass a training course but after that, allow them to strap a firearm to their leg for everyone to see. It would be important that the firearm is easy to see to act as a deterrent, hence the leg holster.

I am in no way saying this is the perfect remedy to this terrible problem. The thing is, it’s better than what we’re doing now which is absolutely nothing. Either make all guns go away or allow everyone to use them.

Man kills 26 people while they attended Sunday church services

Devin Kelley killed 26 people Sunday. He went to the First Baptist Church in Sutherland Springs, Texas armed with a Ruger AR-556 assault rifle. He purchased the weapon at Academy Sports & Outdoors in San Antonio, Texas.
From USA Today:

The 26-year-old gunman responsible for the deadly mass shooting at a Texas church had a long, troubled past – divorce, domestic battery and a failed U.S. Air Force career that ended with time in military prison – before he carried out the macabre attack on Sunday worshipers, authorities said.

I’m not sure why USA Today had to lump divorce in with domestic battery and spending time in prison. Divorce is a normal thing, especially for people who join the Air Force and marry in their early twenties.

If he had a criminal record, why was he allowed to buy a gun?

The Ruger AR-556 assault rifle, the make, and model used by Devin Kelley to murder 26 innocent church goers.
I don’t get it. Is this another example of the powers that be not enforcing our laws?
Also from USA Today:

Air Force spokeswoman Ann Stefanek said Kelley served in Logistics Readiness at Holloman Air Force Base in southern New Mexico from 2010 until his discharge in 2014. After he was court-martialed in 2012 for assaulting his spouse and a child, he received a bad conduct discharge, was confined for 12 months and busted to the service’s lowest rank.

It’s pointless to even think of passing new gun control laws until existing gun laws are enforced. Devin Kelley had a criminal record. He spent time in a military prison. He put his hands on his ex-wife and her child, causing them severe bodily harm. That said, he was still able to walk into Academy Sports & Outdoors in San Antonio, Texas and buy a Ruger AR-556 assault rifle.
Devin Kelley attacked the First Baptist Church because his ex-wife’s family were members. His ex-wife’s grandmother was among the dead in yesterday’s attack.

Devin Kelley did not suffer from mental illness

There is zero evidence indicating Devin Kelley had mental health issues. Some people will argue that he was crazy. He wasn’t crazy, he was a homicidal asshole. Having a mental illness doesn’t mean you are a homicidal asshole and being a homicidal asshole doesn’t mean you suffer from mental illness.  

Academy Sports & Outdoors should have to erect a plaque honoring the dead

If you sell an assault weapon to a mass shooter, you should be forced to put up a large plaque in front of your business honoring the victims you helped kill. Maybe than businesses might think twice before selling military-style assault weapons like they were the equivalent to tennis rackets and catcher’s mitts. They’re not. Assault weapons are designed to kill people on the battlefield. 

Remember when I said we should ban all guns?

Shortly after the Las Vegas massacre, I declared that all firearms should be banned. I’ve thought a lot about it since writing that and I’ve changed my mind. I don’t think we should ever ban firearms, at least in my lifetime.

In a perfect world, guns would be obsolete

Don’t get me wrong, in a perfect world, we wouldn’t need guns. The problem is, we don’t live in a perfect world. Do I think things would be better if people didn’t have access to deadly weaponry? Yes. Do I think things would be better for future generations if Americans didn’t live in a country full of high-power weapons? Yes. Do I think guns should be banned now? No.

My problem is this: as long as the government refuses to enforce our laws, Americans will need to have access to firearms.

The 2015 Baltimore Riots

How can you expect the police to protect you when they won’t even stop thugs from destroying their cars?

I was thinking recently about the 2015 Baltimore riots. The police stood by and did nothing while Black Lives Matter inspired thugs destroyed everything. We have laws against smashing windows and burning down innocent drugstores, yet the Baltimore police did nothing to stop it.

The police are allowed to pick and choose what laws they will enforce. If people assemble into a mob and decide to do harm against you, and the police decide not to do anything about it, there’s a very good chance the mod will kill you.

I have a real problem with that.

I’m a huge fan of the life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness clause of the Declaration of Independence. It’s hard to enjoy life and liberty when you’ve been murdered by a hate-fueled, racist mob. It’s hard to pursue happiness when you have to worry about law enforcement not doing their duty.

I don’t blame the individual police officers for not doing their job. In Baltimore, they were ordered to stand down and not do anything. I don’t blame the police for not upholding the law in Baltimore any more than I blame Border Patrol for not enforcing our immigration laws. Not enforcing our laws comes from the top.

Not enforcing our laws comes from the top.

I was wrong about banning guns

In closing, I want to set the record straight. Even if our elected leaders enacted sweeping gun control legislation, making individual ownership of guns illegal, the chances those laws would be uniformly enforced is about zero. No matter what the law said, some people would be allowed to own guns and others would not.

That’s just the way the system is.

A total ban on bump stocks?

In the wake of the Las Vegas massacre, it looks like Democrats are finally going to push for an outright ban on firearms. Just kidding. Instead of joining the rest of the industrialized free world and banning the personal ownership of firearms, the Democrats have set their sights on banning bump stocks.

A bump stock is something that allows a semi-automatic rifle to become a fully automatic rifle. Sort of. It’s something that is currently legal and something most Democrats didn’t know existed until a couple of days ago.

Why I left the Democratic party

The Democratic party is run by a bunch of powerless, spineless cowards. We need to join the rest of the free world and make the private ownership of firearms illegal. Gun control does not work. It has not worked. Gun control will not work in the future.

We all know that.

The Democrats are more concerned with DACA and Dreamers, citizens of other countries who do not vote here than they are in ensuring all Americans have the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness

Guns and life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness do not mix. Guns create a hostile environment to living your life and enjoying liberty. It’s hard to be happy or even try to be when almost anyone can legally buy a gun and murder you.

I’m less concerned about bump stocks than I am the thing they are attached to, the actual gun.


I’ve reconsidered my opinion on gun ownership.

The only question now is how to ban all firearms

Stephen Paddock booked a suite at the Mandalay Bay Resort and Casino in Las Vegas. He brought 17 weapons with him, including four Daniel Defense DDM4 rifles and three Sig Sauer FN-15s. Paddock knocked out two windows in his suite and then began shooting concert goers 300 yards away. He killed 58 people and injured another 525.

The great gun control experiment is over

Some people have already begun talking about more gun control. The time for that particular conversation has passed. Stephen Paddock saw to that. The only thing worthy of a conversation today is to talk about the best way to remove every firearm from circulation. Every single one. Handguns, rifles, shotguns, or any other mechanism designed specifically for killing people.

It’s time for them to go.

The right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness

People have inalienable rights. At the very top of the rights pyramid is the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

Guns and civilized society do not mix. We now know that to be true. There’s no disputing it. Politicians can talk about limiting the size of magazines, improved background checks, or closing the gun show loophole all they want. Those are not valid discussions to have today.

The discussion we need to have

The discussion we need to have now is the best way to remove all firearms from our country.

It may not be easy. When we decided people should not own other people, it took a civil war to accomplish that idea into practice. Will it take another civil war to remove every firearm from society? It might, but that should not be a factor in deciding what to do. If our ancestors allowed the threat of a civil war to factor in when deciding if slavery should be abolished or not, people today would still be allowed to own other people.

Some things are so important they’re worth almost any price. Removing guns from our country is one of those things.

How I would do it

If it were up to me, I would implement a one-time buy back program for all firearms. I would then melt them. After the one-time buy back, possessing a firearm would be a felony. A conviction of possessing a firearm would involve mandatory minimums. We could take our existing laws on drugs and cross out the words “crack cocaine” and replace it with “firearm.”

That would be a good start.


I’ve reconsidered my opinion on gun ownership.