I was at Sam’s Club the other day and picked up a box of Tim Hortons K-Cups. People have told me that Tim Hortons was like the Canadian version of Duncan Donuts. Since I associate Duncan Donuts with the greatest tasting coffee ever made, I decided to give it a try.
Tim Hortons K-Cups coffee is terrible. It’s weak and bland tasting. It’s nothing at all like Dunken Donuts coffee. It tastes like watered-down gas station coffee with a hint of sadness—the type of sadness an entire country emits after years of not winning the Stanley Cup.
After drinking my first cup of Tim Hortons, I found myself with yet another reason to take pity on Canadians. If our neighbors to the north think Tim Horton’s coffee tastes good, it’s an indicator of just how horrible life is in Canada. No wonder so many Canadians dream of moving to the United States like so many of their hockey teams have done.
Please take my advice and stay away from Tim Horton coffee. Whatever you do, please don’t buy a box of 80 K-Cups as I did. I wish I could say I was high on bath salts or that I had been drinking forties of Olde English 800 all day before going to Sam’s Club. That would be a lie. I was just stupid.
Don’t be stupid. Don’t buy Tim Hortons K-Cup coffee.