The woke Dungeons & Dragons Efreeti premium statue

WizKids is producing a “premium” statue of the Efreeti shown on the original Advanced Dungeons & Dragons Dungeon Master’s Guide.

The statue is 12 inches tall and is made of resin. It comes out on December 9, 2021, and will cost $249.99. Just in time for Christmas.

Here’s an artist’s computer rendition of what the statue will supposedly look like:

That seems overpriced to me, but what do I know? People are currently paying $399.99 for a 32-inch Galagtus action figure.

The statue differs from the artwork featured on the cover of the book. The book shows a scantily clad female in the Efreeti’s left hand. Instead of the scantily dressed female in the Efreeti’s left hand, the statue shows the knight standing in front of the Efreeti on the book in the monster’s hand.

Evidently, Wizards of the Coast, the Dungeons & Dragons franchise owners, didn’t feel comfortable with the image of a sparsely dressed woman in the Efreeti’s clutches. I imagine a statue showing a woman wearing a battle bikini about to be eaten doesn’t jive with Wizards of the Coast’s pearl-clutching, progressive woke sensibilities.

The artwork on the cover of the Advanced Dungeons & Dragons Dungeon Master’s Guide was paying homage to the iconic image of King Kong and Fay Wray.

Instead of just coming out and admitting why they made the change, Wizards of the Woke Coast claims the statue advances the scene, meaning it depicts what happened after the scene shown on the Dungeon Master’s Guide. We’re supposed to believe the Efreeti killed the female and then moved on to the knight. The problem with that, the statue matches the artwork on the book, the same pose on the book’s cover, except for who is in the Efreeti’s hand.

I’m literally not buying it. Not the “advances the scene” garbage or the $249.99 statue.

You can preorder it now on Amazon for $249.99. The nice thing about pre-ordering on Amazon is if the item lowers in price before the release date, you pay the lower price. And the price will go lower before the release day.