Bent Corner

Contrary to what it says, this would not be the perfect Christmas gift for me.  In fact, I can’t think of anything I would want less then a ticket to see Hannity and his band of losers perform at a concert.

I don’t understand people who will only allow themselves to be entertained by performers that share their specific narrow political viewpoint.  Talk about limiting yourself.  People like Charlie Daniels and Billy Ray Cyrus take advantage of people like that.

I’ve never heard of Michael W. Smith, but I’m sure he does this too.

When did Charlie Daniels start to look like Santa?  Maybe he should avoid wearing red.  And what is Oliver North going to do at a concert?  Testify under oath? He should be in prison.

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Today is Independence Day. The day in history the original 13 colonies declared their independence from mean ole England and became a real life country.  Let freedom ring.

I must say, out of all of the countries that broke away from England, the United States has done awfully well for itself.  Have you seen Rhodesia Zimbabwe lately?  Ouch.

Sheri and I will be celebrating the holiday by not working.  We were going to go to a community yard sale that takes place here in Hagerstown every Fourth of July, the Mile Long Yard Sale, but it looks like it’s going to rain.

MSNBC being the fine news organization that it is is showing back-to-back episodes of Dateline: To Catch a Predator. It’s where they trick some dumb pervert online into thinking he is chatting with a child about sex and they get him to come to what he thinks is the child’s house.  In reality, it’s a home rigged with cameras, cops, and NBC’s smarmy Chris Hanson.  What else would you expect them to do today, cover the news? I watched a segment earlier and I could swear I saw the predator at a Wizard World Philly.  I would switch over to Fox News, but they would try to turn me into a Republican, and I don’t want that to happen.

Is it any real surprise that the Rebel Alliance won?

[Photo by tikistitch]

It’s New Years Day. That means two things; there is a never ending Law & Order marathon on TNT and it’s the time to make worthless New Year’s resolutions. I don’t plan on keeping them, but nobody else really does either. I’m just being honest. So here goes:

1. Go to the gym at least four (4) days a week.
2. Eat better.
3. Stop eating at all-you-can-eat-Chinese buffets (see #2).
4. Stop making fun of Joe Quesada’s bald spot.
5. Go to Dragon*Con.
6. Try to say something nice about my elected congressman, Representative Roscoe Bartlett.
7. Stop reading comics I know I’m probably going to hate.
8. Watch more Premier League Football (Soccer).
9. Get my A+ Computer Tech certification.
10. Start drawing again.
11. Find a cradle for my Casio EX-Z60 digital camera.

So there you have it. These are my New Year’s resolutions. I’m going to come back here next year and see how many of these I was able to actually do.

Through some loophole in the rules that govern the holiday known as Christmas, agreeing with your spouse that you will not exchange gifts this year does not include one person giving the other an XBox 360. Sheri surprised me this year by giving my an XBox 360 system. It includes the the game console, a 20 gig hard drive, two (2) wireless controllers, a headset, and a cool looking messenger bag. It also came with some games - Marvel Ultimate Alliance, Forza 2 Motorsport, and Halo 3.

She told me she bought it a month ago from Wal-Mart Online. She said it doesn’t break our no-gift agreement because she plans on using it as much as me. She has a point. It also technically isn’t a Christmas gift because she gave it to me two days ago. Who am I to question it?

I bought a wireless network adapter for it. I wanted to be able to use it online so I could enjoy the pleasure of 14 year old nerd-boys fragging me at Halo 3. Plus, I wanted to be able to stream media files from my PC to my TV. The XBox 360 allows me to do just that. I created a shared video folder on my PC and placed all of my avi videos in it. I then added them to my library in Microsoft Media 11. Now I can watch all of my videos on my 42 inch HD TV in the living room. What surprised me was the picture quality. It’s really quite good. Excellent in fact. Just to have the ability to stream digital media from my PC makes the XBox a worthwhile investment.

We had been talking about getting a Wii. I asked Sheri why she bought an XBox 360 if she wanted a Wii. She told me that she wanted both. That sounds good to me.

Today is Thanksgiving. It’s the one day a year that Americans throw caution to the wind and eat like total hogs and not feel totally guilty about it. We show how thankful we all are by gorging on roasted turkey, dressing, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, green bean casserole, and dinner rolls.

I’ve gotten Thanksgiving down to a science. I avoid eating mashed potatoes, dinner rolls, green bean cassarole, and even sweet potatoes. I can eat most of that stuff any day of the year. What I can’t get much of is my mother-in-law’s cornbread dressing. To say that it’s good is an understatement. It’s beyond good. It’s fantastic. It’s a work of culinary art.  She also makes cream corn to go with it. You put the creamed corn on top of the cornbread dressing.

That’s what I concentrate on.  When there is my mother-in-law’s cornbread dressing on the table, eating food that can be had on any other day of the week is a rookie mistake.

Today is Independence Day. The day we Americans celebrate the supposed birth of our country. It’s the day our ancestors declared their independence from Great Britain.

As though that is something actually worth celebrating. I can think of worse things then being a British citizen.

I sometimes wonder how different my life would be if Maryland was still a colony of Great Britain. How different would my life be if I was a British citizen? Do I as an American enjoy any rights or privileges that I would not enjoy if I was British?

I don’t think so.

I’m not overly convinced that my life would be all that bad if our nation’s forefathers hadn’t declared their independence from England. If they had simply paid their taxes and not caused a ruckus. For guys that supposedly loved freedom so much, they certainly had a funny way of showing it. The phrase, “All men are created equal” was probably written with ink and paper fetched by a slave.

I’ve been to England. It’s a nice place. It’s not the type of place that makes me want to celebrate because I am independent from it. I can think of at least 12 countries off the top of my head that I would be thankful not to be part of. England is not one of those countries. In fact if I had to choose a country to live in other then the United States, my list would start and end with England.

In fact, I would choose to live in England even over many of the states in my own country. Have you ever been to Texas? How about Montana? I’d take England in a heartbeat.

Can you really blame me? Look at what Great Britain has given us. The Beatles and Elton John. Alan Moore and the Rolling Stones. The Who and Harry Potter. The Lord of the Rings and Led Zeppelin. The Clash and Ricky Gervase. Doctor Who and William Shakespeare. Monty Python and James Bond. Rich Johnson and Mary Poppins. David Bowie and Neil Gaiman. The list is really quite endless.

Have you ever eaten a scone? They are really very delicious. Have you tried putting malt vinegar on your fries? Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it.

In London, you are allowed to openly drink a beer while riding in the underground subway system. A beer that actually tastes good I might add. In nearby Washington D.C., you can be arrested for simply chewing a piece of candy.

Don’t get me wrong. There are many things I love about this country. For all of the things wrong with it, there are many good things too. I just don’t see why we have to make such a big deal celebrating our independence from England. To actually set off fireworks and throw festive get-togethers with friends and family. To eat potato salad, watermelon, and burnt hot dogs like there is no tomorrow. If I was from the England I think I would be a little offended at our level of jubilation. It strikes me as being more then just a little rude, Then again, maybe the English are just thankful that so many of our fellow Americans are not longer contaminating their gene pool.

Today is November 23rd and one of my favorite holidays, Thanksgiving Day. It’s one of my favorites because I don’t have to buy anyone anything and I actually get to eat a lot of food without feeling like a total glutenous pig. At least not more then normal.

I not only get today off, but tomorrow as well. Saturday and Sunday too. If my math skills are not failing me, that’s four whole days off from work. Sometimes it’s good to be an American. Sure, the rest of the world hates you and you work more then the rest of the industrialized world, but the rest of the world doesn’t have Thanksgiving. Not even the Canadians, and everyone knows they copy us on everything. The rest of the world might have socialized health care and real mass transit systems, but they won’t be roasting any turkeys stuffed with favorable breadcrumbs today.

This year we are going over to my wife’s brother’s house for dinner. We are getting off easy this year. All we have to bring is a green bean casserole. Yesterday my wife made the same dish for her work party. It was kind of a dress rehearsal. I think last year we were responsible for the mashed potatoes which was kind of a pain. It involved a lot of peeling.

Today I’m not eating anything other then my mother-in-law’s corn bread dressing and cream corn casserole. She makes a corn bread dressing that it absolutely stupendous. The same with the cream corn casserole. It’s ridiculous how good they both are. I’m not going to waste any room in my stomach for anything else. No turkey, no mashed potatoes. No yams. I’m definitely not going to have any bread. Eating bread on Thanksgiving Day is a rookie move. It’s only bread and you get eat that every single day. You are much better off concentrating on the special food. The food you can only get on November 23rd. Like my mother-in-law’s cornbread dressing and cream corn casserole.

After eating, I will probably watch some football. American football. Then I’m going to top off the Thanksgiving Day celebration by going out and taking away land from an Indian. At least I’m going to try. Though I try to do this every single year, I have never been successful.

All the Indian land here in Maryland was already taken away years ago.

Happy Thanksgiving!