A lot to be thankful for this Thanksgiving

Today is Thanksgiving. It’s the one day a year we Americans are required by federal law to overeat, watch football, and think about what we’re thankful for.

I have a lot to be thankful for. I’m married to the greatest woman in the world. The life we have together is pretty awesome and continues to get even more awesome.

My health is a lot better than it was last Thanksgiving. Less than a year ago I found out I have Crohn’s disease. It almost killed me. I eventually had surgery to remove part of my large bowel removed. After some extensive lab tests last month ago, it looks like the Crohn’s is in remission. I won’t know until after I have a colonoscopy next month. Fingers crossed!

On a related note, I’m thankful to have health insurance. I’m also thankful President Barack Obama was able to put the Affordable Care Act into law. It means I don’t have to worry about being denied health insurance because of a pre-existing condition or paying more money for health insurance because of a pre-existing condition. It also put a cap on my out-of-pocket expenses. Without that, last year’s ten-day hospital stay and this year’s surgery very well could have ruined us financially.

The truth behind the first Thanksgiving

If you live in the United States of America, today is Thanksgiving. It’s the day we Americans give thanks for all the wonderful things we have.

The very first Thanksgiving was celebrated by the Pilgrims. They had just defeated the indigenous Wampanoags in a bloody, horrific battle. The Pilgrims attacked the Wampanoag after they noticed delicious smells wafting from the Wampanoag village. Intrigued by the smells, the Pilgrims believed it was a sign from God. They believed God wanted them to kill every Wampanoag man, woman, and child.

The fighting was fierce. The Wampanoags, like most North American indigenous peoples, were armed with nothing more than bows and arrow, knives, clubs, and hatchets.

The blunderbusses, or as it’s more commonly referred to as the Pilgrim assault rifle.

The Pilgrims were armed with those dumb looking blunderbusses guns with a huge horn at the end.

The Pilgrims surely would have lost if it wasn’t for the fact they were protected by the one true God, Pilgrim Jesus. The Wampanoags were godless heathens. Plus, the Wampanoags had no idea the Pilgrims even had ill feelings towards them. The Wampanoags thought the Pilgrims were their friends. It was the type of battle military historians would later describe as a sneak attack.

When the Pilgrims finished slaughtering off the Wampanoag people, they discovered the source of the delicious smells, the trappings of a feist.

Not to pass up free food, the Pilgrims gorged themselves on the Wampanoag food. They had roasted turkey, mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce, sweet potatoes with tiny marshmallows, and green bean casserole. For dessert, there was pumpkin pie.

The day marked the first Thanksgiving. It also marked the day type two diabetes was invented.

As soon as the Pilgrims were done eating, they realized they had a problem. Because the Wampanoag lacked a written language, the recipes for all that food died with the Wampanoag people. Over the years, scientists have worked diligently at duplicating the original Wampanoag recipes.

I think you’ll agree with me, they’ve gotten it pretty close.