Stay away form Tim Horton’s K-Cups

I was at Sam’s Club the other day and picked up a box of Tim Hortons K-Cups. People have told me that Tim Hortons was like the Canadian version of Duncan Donuts. Since I associate Duncan Donuts with the greatest tasting coffee ever made, I decided to give it a try.

Big mistake.

Tim Hortons K-Cups coffee is terrible. It’s weak and bland tasting. It’s nothing at all like Dunken Donuts coffee. It tastes like watered down gas station coffee with a hint of sadness. The type of sadness an entire country emits after years of not winning the Stanley Cup.

After drinking my first cup of Tim Hortons, I found myself with yet another reason to take pity on Canadians. If our neighbors to the north think Tim Hortons coffee tastes good, it’s an indicator of just how horrible life is in Canada. No wonder so many Canadians dream of moving to the United States like so many of their hockey teams have done.

Take my advice and stay away from Tim Horton coffee. Whatever you do, don’t buy a box of 80 K-Cups like I did. I wish I could say I was high on bath salts or that I had been drinking forties of Olde English 800 all day before going to Sam’s Club. That would be a lie. I was just being stupid.

Don’t be stupid. Don’t buy Tim Hortons K-Cup coffee.

Justin Trudeau’s crotch is choosing sides

Marvel Comics released the cover image of Civil War II: Choosing Sides #5. It features Canadian Prime Minister and self-proclaimed feminist Justin Trudeau pretending to be a boxer. He’s wearing a Canadian tourist tank-top and a pair of shorty shorts so skimpy, not even 1980’s John Stockton would have worn them.

What you can’t see are Trudeau’s feet. I’m assuming he’s wearing roller skates. Usually when you see a man dressed like Trudeau, he’s roller skating, usually running afoul of the law.

Shorts Justin Trudeau would approve of.
Shorts Justin Trudeau would approve of.

I think it’s safe to say that if you’re still reading monthly floppy comic books, especially Marvel comic books, something must be wrong with you. If spending four bucks for a 22-page comic featuring the crotch of Justin Trudeau on its cover doesn’t give you pause and force you think about your life, it’s really quite sad.