Worst obituary ever written

I can’t imagine what would motive someone to write such a hateful, mean spirited obituary. The following was written by the dead woman’s daughter and appeared in the Vallejo, California Times-Herald:

Dolores Aguilar
1929 – Aug. 7, 2008

Dolores Aguilar, born in 1929 in New Mexico, left us on August 7, 2008. She will be met in the afterlife by her husband, Raymond, her son, Paul Jr., and daughter, Ruby.

She is survived by her daughters Marietta, Mitzi, Stella, Beatrice, Virginia and Ramona, and son Billy; grandchildren, Donnelle, Joe, Mitzie, Maria, Mario, Marty, Tynette, Tania, Leta, Alexandria, Tommy, Billy, Mathew, Raymond, Kenny, Javier, Lisa, Ashlie and Michael; great-grandchildren, Brendan, Joseph, Karissa, Jacob, Delaney, Shawn, Cienna, Bailey, Christian, Andre Jr., Andrea, Keith, Saeed, Nujaymah, Salma, Merissa, Emily, Jayci, Isabella, Samantha and Emily. I apologize if I missed anyone.

Dolores had no hobbies, made no contribution to society and rarely shared a kind word or deed in her life. I speak for the majority of her family when I say her presence will not be missed by many, very few tears will be shed and there will be no lamenting over her passing.

Her family will remember Dolores and amongst ourselves we will remember her in our own way, which were mostly sad and troubling times throughout the years. We may have some fond memories of her and perhaps we will think of those times too. But I truly believe at the end of the day ALL of us will really only miss what we never had, a good and kind mother, grandmother and great-grandmother. I hope she is finally at peace with herself. As for the rest of us left behind, I hope this is the beginning of a time of healing and learning to be a family again.

There will be no service, no prayers and no closure for the family she spent a lifetime tearing apart. We cannot come together in the end to see to it that her grandchildren and great-grandchildren can say their goodbyes. So I say here for all of us, GOOD BYE, MOM.

I hope there’s more to this story than some stupid petty squabble. I’d hate to find out this all stems from the time she wouldn’t let her kids get a puppy. I’m not sure if the daughter that wrote this speaks for her siblings. Maybe she should have signed her name to it.

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  1. Jessi says

    What if what the daughter said was true? What if this woman really did tear apart her family and only with her passing will healing begin? There are people in the world that never learn the value of love and contentment… maybe this woman was one of them. I thought it was very well written and heartbreaking for all involved.

  2. says

    I read this on Fark this morning. I thought it was kind of fucked up, but if you read it over again, it’s not THAT bad. It just seems brutally honest.

    Then again, is there ever a need to be vindictive in an obituary? Probably not. Hitler’s obit was probably kinder than this one.

  3. Kim Shee says

    If you google : Dolores Aquilar Vallejo, you will find that this is a true obituary written by the daughter who along with her siblings was ill treated, unkempt, abused and unfed by her mother.

    Her pain is palpable.

  4. Mr. Enigma says

    Let me just say, that when the time comes… I will probably be copying and pasting this for my grandmother’s obituary (if I even care to waste my time to do one in the first place). As a person who has seen how a single, poisonous, individual could destroy a family, sight un-seen, I have to at least give the woman who wrote this the benefit of the doubt.

  5. Pam says

    Wow. This daughter has learned the value of being honest. The other really sad comment is the one about hoping this woman did more than not get her a puppy. Really, how many of us have mothers who didn’t seem to love us at all? Answer: quite a few.

  6. They Ellisson says

    Oh my dear lord. This is the most raw obituary I’ve ever read in my life! Not that I go around reading strangers’ obits. Nevertheless, I doubt that it’s at all about a puppy. Someone had to sit, think this out, write it, and deliver it knowing many would see it. Dolores, may you please rest in peace…peace for you, and for your family. Finally!

  7. kimberly Rodgers says

    I think that although unkind, the obituary was honest. To often people are unwilling to speak ill of the dead afraid of “tarnishing” their reputation. It does not sound like this woman lived her life in a way that her children cared to celebrate. Some people are toxic and are incapable of love. I just pray that my children will not be able to say the same of me. I hope her family is able to heal and move on with their lives and not forever live traumatized by thier mother.

  8. Santos757A says

    Many obituaries are written, no embellished even if the person was the most meanest, nastiest, abusive creature you could meet. Kudos to the daughter who had the brave courage to write this.

    And I sadly speak from personal experience. My Father was a mean, nasty horrible creature of a guy. Verbally, physically abused me and sexually abused my kid sister. Beat and abused our Mom who felt helpless as a battered wife. A complete monster, a psychopath who was only warm and kind with his friends.

    We cut off all ties with him when Mom finally left him; we were in our teens.

    27 years later, my sis and I get letters from his new wife (who tracked us down) saying he was dying from prostate cancer and wanted to see my sis and I one last time, “and ask forgiveness”. And to add insult to injury, she asked my sis and I to help her with funeral costs????

    I wrote back the meanest, ugliest, nastiest letter to my “step-mom” I could think of.
    And that, was the end of that………

    • Sandy Bennett says

      Yes, but you didn’t have your letter published for the world to see. I don’t find this obit a brave act, but rather pathetic. If she wants to share or vent she should write a book and people who wish to can read all about it. Otherwise, obits should just notify one of death and not provide a forum for grievances.

  9. Robert Monroe, Jr. says

    People with good relationships with their mothers can’t understand the pain that causes someone to write an obit like this. I can. My mother and I never had a good relationship and, when I was in my mid-20’s I reached out to her so we could resolve things. She told me, “I hate you and never loved you”. I won’t be writing my mother’s obituary at all…I would have nothing to say much more than she was here and now she isn’t.

  10. sheenaydoo says

    never speak evil about d dead ckuz u dnt knw who’s next plus how ckan she make a statement like dat abt her mother? Mother’s knws best.

  11. daughter of a witch says

    When Sadistic Personality Disorder was removed from the DSM, my mother had to become plain old Borderline Personality Disorder, which really just doesn’t fit as well. She doesn’t self-injure–it’s much too fun to injure and torture others.

    When she finally dies, I am unlikely to even attend her funeral (but one of my brothers says he will, just to make sure she’s really in the coffin). I also don’t see this “sacred” tradition others here seem to feel about pretending horrible abusive people should be lied about as being kind and good just because they are dead. Sometimes, family members are relieved when the witch finally dies. Why pretend otherwise? The people who insist on pretending otherwise are also the people who pretend not to notice unkempt, frightened, abused children.

    I’m going to use this obit as a template for when annihilating rage filled mother dies. great idea. About time there’s a little honesty in this world.

This post was published 7 years ago.

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