This is the worst obituary ever written

I can’t imagine what would motive someone to write such a hateful, mean spirited obituary. The following was written by the dead woman’s daughter and appeared in the Vallejo, California Times-Herald:

Dolores Aguilar
1929 – Aug. 7, 2008

Dolores Aguilar, born in 1929 in New Mexico, left us on August 7, 2008. She will be met in the afterlife by her husband, Raymond, her son, Paul Jr., and daughter, Ruby.

She is survived by her daughters Marietta, Mitzi, Stella, Beatrice, Virginia and Ramona, and son Billy; grandchildren, Donnelle, Joe, Mitzie, Maria, Mario, Marty, Tynette, Tania, Leta, Alexandria, Tommy, Billy, Mathew, Raymond, Kenny, Javier, Lisa, Ashlie and Michael; great-grandchildren, Brendan, Joseph, Karissa, Jacob, Delaney, Shawn, Cienna, Bailey, Christian, Andre Jr., Andrea, Keith, Saeed, Nujaymah, Salma, Merissa, Emily, Jayci, Isabella, Samantha and Emily. I apologize if I missed anyone.

Dolores had no hobbies, made no contribution to society and rarely shared a kind word or deed in her life. I speak for the majority of her family when I say her presence will not be missed by many, very few tears will be shed and there will be no lamenting over her passing.

Her family will remember Dolores and amongst ourselves we will remember her in our own way, which were mostly sad and troubling times throughout the years. We may have some fond memories of her and perhaps we will think of those times too. But I truly believe at the end of the day ALL of us will really only miss what we never had, a good and kind mother, grandmother and great-grandmother. I hope she is finally at peace with herself. As for the rest of us left behind, I hope this is the beginning of a time of healing and learning to be a family again.

There will be no service, no prayers and no closure for the family she spent a lifetime tearing apart. We cannot come together in the end to see to it that her grandchildren and great-grandchildren can say their goodbyes. So I say here for all of us, GOOD BYE, MOM.

I hope there’s more to this story than some stupid petty squabble. I’d hate to find out this all stems from the time she wouldn’t let her kids get a puppy. I’m not sure if the daughter that wrote this speaks for her siblings. Maybe she should have signed her name to it.

Rick Rottman

I’m from California. I live in Maryland. I love science fiction, comics, giant robots, and robotic giants. Continue Reading...

This Post Has 36 Comments

  1. Jessi

    What if what the daughter said was true? What if this woman really did tear apart her family and only with her passing will healing begin? There are people in the world that never learn the value of love and contentment… maybe this woman was one of them. I thought it was very well written and heartbreaking for all involved.

    1. Natalie

      Well said, and I agree, she was even decent enough to wish her peace. I don’t understand what’s so hard to understand… The deceased was an unkind, sour, disagreeable cuss who added nothing to their family’s experience of life and they’re glad she’s gone. (See what I did there… now THAT’S being mean.) It seems the problem people have is that the writer was honest… maybe they’re worried! I only feel bad for all the years those kids had to pour over Birthday and Mother’s Day cards looking for the ones that were the lease dishonest.

      Just be a nice person and you won’t get a crappy obit!

      1. peppie H Tandhasetti

        Well stated. My mother left this world with hate in her heart, & determination to tear the family apart.

        She was as mean & proud of it. Wonderful nursing assistants and companions assisted her the last years of her life. She curses them. Called them “stupid” & made these statements “If you had been smart, you wouldn’t need to do this work. Your barely worth what I pay you.”

        Since I am only 21 years her junior, I can state that she was always mean. The grandchildren called her “Satan Grandma.”

        1. Marti Malone

          Well then that makes you Satan’s daughter. Wow what morals you teach your kids.

    2. Marti Malone

      And what if it is one big lie because the daughter didn’t get her way. Or the daughter was cut off because she was a drug addict? And Satan’s spawn didn’t even sign her name but put her mom out there like that. Vile evil b*tch.

  2. Schooly

    I read this on Fark this morning. I thought it was kind of fucked up, but if you read it over again, it’s not THAT bad. It just seems brutally honest.

    Then again, is there ever a need to be vindictive in an obituary? Probably not. Hitler’s obit was probably kinder than this one.

    1. Anonymous

      Really? Hitler? You are obviously very young or just very stupid.

    2. Sabrina Mullins Riggs

      sometimes this obit can be the best thing someone can say about someone whom sounds so vile it looks like she hurt a lot of people so the writer could of been even more harsh…

    3. peppie H Tandhasetti

      Nothing kind was said about him. He was the epitome of evil & committed suicide rather than face a court of his peers who would have torn him to shreds or be heard at Nuremburg.

  3. Kim Shee

    If you google : Dolores Aquilar Vallejo, you will find that this is a true obituary written by the daughter who along with her siblings was ill treated, unkempt, abused and unfed by her mother.

    Her pain is palpable.

    1. Anonymous

      She is also know as Marianne Theresa Johnson Reddick

      1. Anonymous

        oooooooooooow good one!

  4. Mr. Enigma

    Let me just say, that when the time comes… I will probably be copying and pasting this for my grandmother’s obituary (if I even care to waste my time to do one in the first place). As a person who has seen how a single, poisonous, individual could destroy a family, sight un-seen, I have to at least give the woman who wrote this the benefit of the doubt.

  5. Pam

    Wow. This daughter has learned the value of being honest. The other really sad comment is the one about hoping this woman did more than not get her a puppy. Really, how many of us have mothers who didn’t seem to love us at all? Answer: quite a few.

  6. They Ellisson

    Oh my dear lord. This is the most raw obituary I’ve ever read in my life! Not that I go around reading strangers’ obits. Nevertheless, I doubt that it’s at all about a puppy. Someone had to sit, think this out, write it, and deliver it knowing many would see it. Dolores, may you please rest in peace…peace for you, and for your family. Finally!

  7. kimberly Rodgers

    I think that although unkind, the obituary was honest. To often people are unwilling to speak ill of the dead afraid of “tarnishing” their reputation. It does not sound like this woman lived her life in a way that her children cared to celebrate. Some people are toxic and are incapable of love. I just pray that my children will not be able to say the same of me. I hope her family is able to heal and move on with their lives and not forever live traumatized by thier mother.

  8. Santos757A

    Many obituaries are written, no embellished even if the person was the most meanest, nastiest, abusive creature you could meet. Kudos to the daughter who had the brave courage to write this.

    And I sadly speak from personal experience. My Father was a mean, nasty horrible creature of a guy. Verbally, physically abused me and sexually abused my kid sister. Beat and abused our Mom who felt helpless as a battered wife. A complete monster, a psychopath who was only warm and kind with his friends.

    We cut off all ties with him when Mom finally left him; we were in our teens.

    27 years later, my sis and I get letters from his new wife (who tracked us down) saying he was dying from prostate cancer and wanted to see my sis and I one last time, “and ask forgiveness”. And to add insult to injury, she asked my sis and I to help her with funeral costs????

    I wrote back the meanest, ugliest, nastiest letter to my “step-mom” I could think of.
    And that, was the end of that………

    1. Sandy Bennett

      Yes, but you didn’t have your letter published for the world to see. I don’t find this obit a brave act, but rather pathetic. If she wants to share or vent she should write a book and people who wish to can read all about it. Otherwise, obits should just notify one of death and not provide a forum for grievances.

      1. sheenaydoo

        i totally agree with you on this one.

      2. Anonymous

        I feel unless you grew up in that house hold you can’t have an opinion. It wasn’t about being brave it was about not letting an evil human bieng go down draped in a lie of being a good person. she didn’t write a fucking book for sympathy and nothing about it was pathetic. It was an honest obit. Asshole

        1. Anonymous

          Speaking about an evil human being, on one post you call a person stupid, in this one an asshole. Pot, kettle, kettle pot

  9. Robert Monroe, Jr.

    People with good relationships with their mothers can’t understand the pain that causes someone to write an obit like this. I can. My mother and I never had a good relationship and, when I was in my mid-20’s I reached out to her so we could resolve things. She told me, “I hate you and never loved you”. I won’t be writing my mother’s obituary at all…I would have nothing to say much more than she was here and now she isn’t.

  10. sheenaydoo

    never speak evil about d dead ckuz u dnt knw who’s next plus how ckan she make a statement like dat abt her mother? Mother’s knws best.

  11. daughter of a witch

    When Sadistic Personality Disorder was removed from the DSM, my mother had to become plain old Borderline Personality Disorder, which really just doesn’t fit as well. She doesn’t self-injure–it’s much too fun to injure and torture others.

    When she finally dies, I am unlikely to even attend her funeral (but one of my brothers says he will, just to make sure she’s really in the coffin). I also don’t see this “sacred” tradition others here seem to feel about pretending horrible abusive people should be lied about as being kind and good just because they are dead. Sometimes, family members are relieved when the witch finally dies. Why pretend otherwise? The people who insist on pretending otherwise are also the people who pretend not to notice unkempt, frightened, abused children.

    I’m going to use this obit as a template for when annihilating rage filled mother dies. great idea. About time there’s a little honesty in this world.

  12. GoodRiddanceBye

    There’s nothing wrong with this. You’ve obviously didn’t grow up in an abusive household. I’ll probably copy & paste this for my own mother and even add in a “good riddance” in the end. There’s real abuse out there. Not all mothers or fathers are heroes just cuz they popped out a kid. Anyone can do that, it doesn’t make anyone special or automatically a saint. Some things go far beyond being upset over “not getting a puppy” as you so ignorantly put it. Educate yourself. Hell, look at the news. Some people grow up in households where being tortured by their parents is a daily occurrence. I don’t know what it is about society that makes it just because someone died, everyone has to automatically start saying bullshit remarks on how wonderful and wholesome the person was. No. Some people aren’t. There’s literally nothing positive to say about some people who seemed to have made it their life’s mission to abuse and torment others. A person doesn’t automatically become angelic just cuz they died. Some people are assholes, and yes some of those people are parents who abused their kids over horrific things and scarred them for life.

    1. peppie H Tandhasetti

      My mother passed away August 17, 2020 after a life filled with hate, animosity toward all, & a pathological liar. She was known as Grandma Satan among the grandchildren.

  13. Jeannine

    Sounds like she was a horrible person. And by her i mean the deceased.

  14. Benita Terrell

    I get it. And I am glad some people have the courage to write their truth.

  15. EL Ripley

    Honestly, it works for me; it’s easy when the deceased is an out and out prick, but harder when they were relatively decent sometimes and emotionally abusive at others. My father would go out of his way to do decent things for some people, but then delight in emotionally torturing his dysfunctional family. He was an emotional cripple. At the funeral they got a pastor who had never met him to go on and on about what a great guy he was, in a somber, sad voice. Everyone knew it was bullshit. No one wrote an obit.

    I would have preferred to write myself about his legitimate good qualities, as well as his mental abuse of the family, but you’re just supposed to write fiction when someone dies.

    Kudos to this woman for telling it like it was.

  16. Tom W

    Does not appear to me these people know anything at all about forgiveness and all have chosen to be victims. John 8:7 “Whoever is without sin among you, let him be the first to cast the first stone”. Refer also to Romans 2:1.

    1. peppie H Tandhasetti

      Forgiveness is correct. I forgave my mother a long time ago but the world should know what she did, how she pained us, how she destroyed, how she stole, how she lied, how she bragged that her voodoo dolls would “inflict pain” on her victims.

      1. Marti Malone

        You people are a bunch of morons. I can’t believe that you can call this vial daughter honest and willing to be so disrespectful of her mother. You all make me sick to my stomach that you agree with this vial evil daughter. And the thing that gets me is most of you don’t even use your own names. You hide behind ananimity. Are you all afraid that people will find out who you truly are and tell you how stupid you are to agree that this vile evil daughter. So you hide behind fake names so no will judge you.
        For one thing you don’t even know that what Satan’s spawn is saying is even the truth. Oh you googled her. And you believe what the internet tells you? Your a bunch of fools. If that’s the case then Elvis is still alive and works at Burger King. And TuPac is still alive too.
        Well I do hope that you morons love perfectly good lives and no one speaks I’ll of you when you die. People who live in glass houses should not throw stones.

  17. Anonymous

    Sadness…that’s all I can say! I will be writing my mother’s obit in a few days…although she wasn’t perfect nor was I as a mother. We experienced abuse: physically and mentally by her…abandonment issues when my parents separated and the bar and men became her priority. I left her home at 15 never to return…we were estranged for many years…but in December 2017 I put everything behind and took her in and cared for her while fighting stage 4 ovarian cancer until she passed in my arms April 15….all the questions I needed answered she answered honestly: it gave me all the insight I needed to know why she had been the mom she was…she had been molested several tiimes as a girl growing up, abused by men all of her relationships…treated like dirt and unloved by her mom…no father around….then I asked myself: how could she ever love me…when she never knew love herself…before her last breath I forgave her and had wished we had this talk many years ago! Her obit will be short and sweet…I no longer will allow the anger to steal my happiness for what time God has left for me!

  18. bob

    I totally under stand the history that the lady is writing about and hate she was brought up in and understand where is coming from

  19. Kid NM

    Well said. Not every mother is a saint like mine is and not every father is a fu**king asshole like mine.

  20. Marcia Conroy

    Any way you look at this it’s just all around sad. I’m grateful every day that I am not the judge of anyone. Be the one who notices and responds to people of all ages who need to be rescued, whether it’s from themselves or someone else. Prayers up to all who are hurting ????

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