Bryce Harper learns the purpose of the warning track

Washington Nationals right fielder Bryce Harper slammed into the outfield fence at Dodgers Stadium last night in Los Angeles trying to make a play on a fly ball off the bat of Dodgers catcher A.J. Ellis. Harper went face-first into the scoreboard resulting in a laceration to his chin that required 11 stitches to close.

Harper didn’t suffer a concussion, at least that’s what the Nationals and Harper’s agent Scott Boras are saying. Watching a replay of the incident, it’s hard to believe Harper’s brain didn’t concuss even a little bit. I think I got a slight concussion just watching it.

Check it out:


Maybe Harper thought he was catching a train to Hogwarts. That actually makes more sense than not knowing what the warning track is for. Then again, although he’s a gifted athlete, Harper’s not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

Former Hagerstown mayor promoted to General Manager of the Suns

Former Hagerstown mayor promoted to General Manager of the SunsFormer Hagerstown Mayor Bob Bruchey has been promoted by the Hagerstown Suns, a class A affiliate of the Washington Nationals, from Director of Sales, Marketing and Community Affairs to General Manager. Bruchey was hired by the Suns at the end of January by then General Manager Bill Farley.

I wonder if Frarley knew he was hiring his replacement when he hired Bruchey.

Frarley is leaving the Suns to pursue new opportunities, whatever that means.

Bruchey, who came to the Suns without a background in professional sports, must have been outstanding at his duties as marketing director if he could replace the man who hired him less than a month into his career with the Hagerstown Suns.

I’m not sure what a general manager does at the minor league level. It’s not like he will be orchestrating trades or signing players. The Hagerstown Suns, like all other minor league teams in the South Atlantic League, get their players from the main club, in this case, the Washington Nationals.

I wish our former mayor good luck in his new position. I imagine even a bad day at work at a minor league baseball team has got to be better than a good day at work at the tech support desk for a credit card processor.

Hagerstown Suns produce creepy looking Bryce Harper garden gnome

The Hagerstown Suns, a single-A team for the Washington Nationals, will be giving away special Bryce Harper garden gnomes to the first 1,000 fans in attendance at the August 4 game. The statue is quite remarkable in that it looks absolutely nothing like Bryce Harper. Also, it’s more than a little creepy.

Seriously, who in their right mind would want this thing in their garden?

Harper began his professional baseball career here in Hagerstown where he made it no secret that he hated being here. Personally, I wish the Suns would just forget that Harper played here and pretend that he didn’t exist. He’s gone and he will probably, hopefully, never return.

Then again, considering just how horrendous this statue looks, perhaps this is a passive-aggressive way for the Suns to get back at Harper, by “honoring” him with a statue that makes him look like Jonah Hill’s retarded brother. I think that would be giving the organization too much credit.

Bryce Harper is now an All-Star, but still a jerkface

Washington Nationals star rookie Bryce Harper is officially an All-Star. Even though he wasn’t elected by the fans, twice, he was named to the team by manager Tony La Russa to replace Giancarlo Stanton of the Miami Marlins. Stanton’s right knee requires arthroscopic surgery. The move leaves the Marlins without a representative to the All-Star Game. I imagine the Marlins fan base, all 42 of them, are disappointed they wont have anyone representing them in the so-called Midsummer Classic.

Harper is only 19-years-old. He’s the youngest position player (not a pitcher) to be added to an All-Star Game.

If Harper is happy about becoming an All-Star, he’s keeping it to himself. When asked about his first reaction about making the All-Star team, he replied with, “I don’t get to go home.”

Yes, Harper doesn’t get to go home to Las Vegas. Sucks to be him. Boo-hoo-hoo. Instead he has to go to Kansas City and represent his team and his city in the national spot-light of the All-Star Game. Some players go their entire career without gracing an All-Star roaster.  Mets knuckle ball pitcher R.A. Dickey is going to the All-Star Game for the first time this year and he’s 37-years-old. To Dickey, making the All-Star team is a huge honor. To Harper, not so much.

Harper is a phenomenal baseball player, but he has two things going against him; He’s a jerk and he’s not very bright. That’s a bad combination.

This is the same player that admitted on video that he wasn’t too focused his final 20 games here in Hagerstown and couldn’t wait to leave. He’s a jerk for feeling this way, he’s dumb for actually admitting this in an interview.

Davey Johnson is a snitch

Joel Peralta is a relief pitcher for the Tampa Bay Rays. In 2010, he pitched for the Washington Nationals. Tuesday night in an interleague game between the Nationals and the Rays, Nationals manager Davey Johnson asked umpires to inspect the glove of Peralta for banned foreign substances. According to umpire Tim Tschida, a “significant amount” of pine tar was found on the glove. Pitchers aren’t allowed to use pine tar. Peralta was ejected from the game.

Pitchers like to use pine tar because they believe it allows them to grip the ball better. Even though it’s technically not allowed under the rules of Major League Baseball, a lot of pitchers do it. It’s one of the reasons most pitchers use dark gloves. It allows them to hide pine tar.

Imagine that. Johnson knew that an opposing pitcher was “cheating” and knew to ask officials to look for foreign substances. He knew this because someone in the Washington Nationals obviously told him that when Peralta played for them, he liked to use pine tar. Johnson didn’t see Peralta with pine tar on his glove. He knew of the pine tar because of inside information, information gained from when Peralta played for them.

If this seems scummy on the part of Johnson, it’s because it is. He snitched on a player who played for his organization, with information gained from the time he played in his organization. If nobody in the Washington Nationals organization alerted MLB back in 2010 that Peralta used pine tar, they shouldn’t be snitching on him now. Like the Bible says, snitches get stitches.

The Rays went on to win the game, 5-4.

Bryce Harper: ‘That’s a clown question, bro’

Bryce Harper: 'That's a clown question, bro'Washington Nationals rookie Bryce Harper was answering questions from reporters last night in the locker room after beating the Toronto Blue Jays. A Canadian reporter asked him if he was going to celebrate by by having a beer. Harper is only 19 years old and in the United States, a person cannot legally drink until they are at least 21. In Canada, people can drink beer when they’re 19.

Harper, never one to miss the opportunity to act like a dick, responded to the lighthearted, jovial question with, “That’s a clown question, bro.”

It’s a legitimate question. The United States, the land of the free and the brave, doesn’t allow people like Harper to have a beer like a regular person. In the United States, you are considered an adult when you are 19, you just don’t have the same rights and privileges as everyone else.

Instead of just answering the question, he decided to act like a jerk.