Did Josh McDaniels punk the Colts out of revenge for Deflategate?

New England Patriots offensive coordinator Josh McDaniels was going to become the new head coach on the Indianapolis Colts until he decided he wasn’t. The Colts released an official statement on the matter:

After agreeing to contract terms to become the Indianapolis Colts’ new head coach, New England Patriots assistant coach Josh McDaniels this evening informed us that he would not be joining our team. Although we are surprised and disappointed, we will resume our head coaching search immediately and find the right fit to lead our team and organization on and off the field.

“Agreeing to contract terms” isn’t the same thing as signing the contract. I’m assuming he never signed the contract otherwise the Colts would have probably lead with that. Plus, Josh McDaniels was still contractually obligated to the New England Patriots until after the Super Bowl. He wouldn’t have been able to sign a contract with the Colts until his time with the Patriots was over.

This could be a planned elaborate prank by the Patriots on the Colts. It was the Colts who got the wheels in motion for Deflategate. In the first quarter of the 2014 AFC Championship game, Colts linebacker D’Qwell Jackson intercepted a pass from Patriots quarterback Tom Brady. Jackson gave the ball for safekeeping to the Colts’ equipment staff. Upon inspection of the ball, the equipment staff decided the ball felt kind of squishy. It was as though it didn’t have enough air in it. They alerted game officials and all of the Patriots footballs were tested at halftime.

Did Josh McDaniels change his mind about the job offer as revenge for deflategate?

I doubt it. The Colts are a shit organization. They play in one of America’s worst cities and the owner is a degenerate drug addict.

Indianapolis Colts owner Jim Irsay.

Indianapolis is in Indiana. Have you ever been to Indiana? It’s a depressing place filled with depressing people who spend their time sitting in rocking chairs talking about going home to Jesus.

Why would anyone want to leave the Patriot’s organization to work for the Colts? I’m sure Josh McDaniels just came to his senses.

Plus, Josh McDaniels was probably told the Patriots head coaching job was his as soon as Bill Belichick retires.

I was completely wrong about Tom Brady

In the past, I’ve said some not-so-nice things about New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady. I’ve called him a cheater. I’ve compared him to Sammy Sosa. I’ve called him a spoiled baby.

Tom Brady didn’t deserve any of my criticism.

Everything I’ve ever said about Tom Brady was wrong. If I could manipulate time, I would go back and not write negative things about Tom Brady. In all honesty though, I would first go back and kill baby Hitler, but as soon as I completed my act of justifiable infanticide, I’d go back and not blog hostile things about Tom Brady.

I’ve been thinking about the whole deflategate controversy since the beginning of the 2015-16 NFL season. I’ve looked at it with fresh eyes. If the footballs used by the Patriots in the 2014-15 AFC Championship Game against the Indianapolis Colts were under-inflated, why didn’t any of the officials on the field notice? The officials handled the footballs every play. The Colts had their own footballs. The Patriots had their own footballs. If something was different between the two, the officials would have noticed.

If, after the game, the NFL determined the footballs were under-inflated, why then weren’t any of the officials disciplined for allowing the game to be played with squishy footballs?

The officials weren’t disciplined because there wasn’t a noticeable difference in the footballs.

Also, if the exact air pressure of a football is so important and sacred to the integrity of the game, why does the NFL allow each team to provide their own footballs? If the amount of air in a football was important, the NFL would provide the footballs. The teams would not be allowed to provide their own footballs. The air pressure in the footballs would be checked constantly throughout the game. There would be sideline laboratories staffed with expert scientists using state-of-the-art pneumatic pressure instruments, ensuring the footballs were properly inflated.

In retrospect, the whole deflategate thing was stupid. It’s the worst kind of controversy: a non-controversy. I think I allowed my own personal biases against Boston sports teams and their insufferable fans to cloud and contaminate my opinion. Like most people, I associate Boston sports teams with obnoxious, blowhards like Bill Simmons and Sarah Silverman. I shouldn’t have done that.

I’ll try to be a better man in the future.

Tom Brady court appeal denied

New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady will finally have to serve the 4-game suspension levied on him by NFL commissioner Roger Goodell back in May of 2015.

Brady tried to get the U.S. Court Appeals for the Second Circuit to rehear his case. They issued a one-page document earlier today denying his petition.  His only chance now is to get his case heard by the U.S. Supreme Court, something they will almost certainly not do.

Then again, the U.S. Supreme Court named George W. Bush the president even though Al Gore, inventor of both the Internet and global warming, received the most votes. Who knows what the top court in all the land will do at any given time. Most of its members are too old to be Walmart door greeters. We shouldn’t be overly surprised by anything they do.

The cheating cheater known as Tom Brady is a spoiled baby. He cheated in the AFC Championship Game, using under inflated, easier to catch footballs. Instead of taking his suspension like a man, or what passes as a man in Massachusetts, he tried to use the courts to get out of paying the price for his wretched dishonesty. I wish he could be suspended for more than four games. He wasted everyone’s time. He should be penalized for that.

I hate Tom Brady. Religious cult leader and conveyor of folksy wisdom Will Rogers once said he hadn’t met a man he didn’t like. I would like to point out that Will Rogers obviously never met Tom Brady.

Tom Brady is Sammy Sosa

From Jay Glazer at Fox Sports:

The person of interest was already interviewed by the league. The NFL is trying to determine whether any wrongdoing by this individual occurred, sources tell FOX Sports.

There is surveillance video showing the attendant taking the footballs from the official’s locker room into another room at Gillette Stadium before bringing them out to the field, sources tell FOX Sports.

If Jay Glazer is saying it, it must be true. With that said, I’m not sure I understand the point of finding out who took the air out of the balls. The point is that Tom Brady, LeGarrette Blount, Julian Edelman, Rob Gronkowski, and the rest of the Patriots’ offensive players were using illegal footballs that gave them an unfair advantage in the AFC Championship game. It doesn’t really matter who tampered with the balls, the point is that they were tampered with and then the Patriots knowingly used them in the AFC Championship game.

There’s no way Brady and the rest of the Patriots didn’t know there was something different about the footballs. They were easier to throw, they were easier to catch, and they were easier to not fumble.

Sammy Sosa would have made a fine Patriot
Sammy Sosa would have made a fine Patriot

When Sammy Sosa was caught using a corked bat in 2003, did it matter who corked the bat? Not really. Sosa was the one penalized by Major League Baseball for using an illegal bat in a meaningless, yet technically an official MLB game. Sosa was the guilty party, not the person who drilled out the hat, inserted cork in it, and then plugged it back up so nobody could tell.

Does anyone honestly think Tom Brady was throwing a football with two pounds per square inch less than regulation and didn’t know it?

I find it interesting how badly the NFL is investigating this controversy. I think that’s by design. Robert Kraft, the owner of the New England Patriots, is one of the most powerful owners in professional sports. Kraft is good friends with NFL commissioner Roger Goodell. If the recent Ray Rice domestic violence incident taught us anything, it’s that the NFL is pretty incompetent at conducting an investigation, even when they want to get to the truth. I don’t think that’s the case here. I don’t think they want to find out the truth.

The last thing the NFL wants to do is suspend Tom Brady for cheating before a Super Bowl.

New England Patriots are cheaters who cheat

There’s a big controversy going on now in the world of the NFL. It turns out that when the New England Patriots defeated the Indianapolis Colts in the AFC Championship game, they did so with illegal footballs.

NFL rules state that footballs must be inflated between 12.5 and 13.5 pounds of air per square inch (PSI). The NFL discovered after the game that 11 of the 12 balls the Patriots were using were under-inflated by 2 PSI. The NFL tested the 12 balls belonging to the Colts and they were all within regulations. It was clear the footballs the Patriots used in the game had been tampered with.

The issue only came to light after the Colts’ D’Qwell Jackson intercepted a pass from Patriots quarterback Tom Brady and kept the ball as a memento, and noticed that the ball was kind of squishy.

New England Patriots are cheaters who cheatUnder-inflated footballs are easier to throw short to medium distances. They’re easier to catch at any distance. The Patriots broke the rules of the game to get an unfair advantage. The New England Patriots cheated.

How is this fact newsworthy?

The New England Patriots cheat. It’s what they do. They’ve been caught cheating before. I have no reason to believe they won’t get caught cheating again. When I see the Patriots take the field, I just assume they’re cheating.

Discovering that the New England Patriots cheat is like discovering that Pope Francis has a deep love for the Lord Jesus Christ and all things Catholic. Instead of telling me that the Patriots cheat, tell me something I don’t know, like the ending to Interstellar.

The NFL surely won’t do anything about this, at least not before the Super Bowl. In another ball-related incident, the NFL fined Seattle Seahawks running back Marshawn Lynch $20,000 for grabbing his crotch in the NFC Championship game. They are more than willing to fine a player for an obscene gesture, but not for cheating. Every Patriots player who touched an under-inflated football on the field of play, broke NFL rules.

Where’s their fines? Don’t hold your breath. Seriously, don’t hold your breath. It’s not good for you. You need oxygen to survive. Permanent brain damage begins after only 4 minutes without oxygen. Granted, if you held your breath for any extended period, you’d pass out before any brain damage occurred, but it’s not worth the risk. If you’re like some of the people who try to post comments here, you can’t take any more brain damage.