I hate the Green Bay Packers with the white hot heat of a thousand suns

Week eleven of the 2018 NFL schedule has come and gone and the Green Bay Packers are now 4-5-1. In other words, they’ve played 10 games so far this season and won only four of them. Good. I hate the Packers and it makes me happy when they play like a giant bucket of suck.

When tracking Super Bowl odds, the Packers’ chances of winning Super Bowl 53 (Super Bowl LIII if you are a citizen of the Roman Empire) have been steadily getting worse since the 2018 season began.

I do not understand the national obsession with the Green Bay Packers

When the NFL announced the 2018 national TV schedule, the Green Bay Packers were scheduled for five nationally televised games. That’s five games too many. Instead of subjecting America to the Green Bay Packers, national TV networks should try to be more responsible and show things more worthy of the nation’s airwaves. Maybe a live telecast of someone putting Ikea furniture together or a middle-aged prairie woman churning butter. Anything would be better than watching the Green Bay Packers.

I hate the Green Bay Packers with the heat of a thousand suns - Bent Corner
Middle-aged prairie woman churning butter.

In fact, considering how much people in Wisconsin fetishize dairy products and coronary disease, a middle-aged prairie woman churning butter might just be a hit with viewers in the Packers’ television market. We won’t know unless a network gives it a try.

Have you ever been to Green Bay?

Green Bay, Wisconsin is by far the smallest city with its own NFL team. Current population numbers show the city has less than 106,000 people living there. That’s tiny compared to most cities with their own NFL team. Lambeau Field, the stadium in which the Packers play, seats 81,441. That works out to be 76.8 percent of the city.

Not everyone who goes to a Green Bay Packers game lives in the tiny village of Green Bay. I’m sure there are people there from the surrounding area who cannot drive their uncle’s tractor all the way to Minnesota or Chicago to watch the Vikings or the Bears. It sucks to be them.

I hate Aaron Rodgers

I hate the Green Bay Packers with the heat of a thousand suns - Bent Corner
Aaron Rodgers

If there’s a bigger jerk in football than Aaron Rodgers, I cannot think of one. I’m sure there’s a third-string linebacker somewhere who has the personality of a cinder block, but Aaron Rodgers is a first-ballot Hall of Famer. Considering how many sports writers have man-crushes on Rodgers, I’m almost surprised they don’t try to enshrine him in Canton before he even retires. For all his accomplishments, Rodgers seems to love giving people the stink eye.

Considering his accomplishments and accolades, it’s annoying to see Rodgers look so mad all the time. How many millions in the bank or MVP awards does he need before he cracks a smile? To turn that frown upside down? Spock smiles more than Aaron Rodgers does and Spock is half Vulcan.

I hate the Green Bay Packers with the heat of a thousand suns - Bent Corner
Mr. Spock

Spock’s never won a Super Bowl. I doubt he’s even watched a Super Bowl. He would rather play the Vulcan harp than watch football. Now that I think about it, most of the time, so would I. At least then I wouldn’t worry about Joe Buck and Troy Aikman giving me ear cancer.

In conclusion

My hope is that the Green Bay Packers lose their next six games. Considering how well they’ve been this season at not winning games, I believe their chances are quite good.  Ending the season at 4-11-1 would make me very happy.

The Baltimore Orioles are now back to .500 baseball

The Baltimore Orioles beat the California Angels of Anaheim of Orange Country near Los Angeles last night 6-2. It means the Orioles are back to an even record, 56 – 56.

It’s like the season starts all over again for the Orioles, except of course that Boston Red Sox are seven games ahead of them.

Orioles pitcher Dylan Bundy went seven innings and got the win. He struck out 10 and allowed two runs.

I don’t like the Angels. I liked them fine when they were the California Angels, but when they began changing their name to make it sound like they play in Los Angeles, I wanted no part of them.

The Angels don’t play in Los Angeles. The play in Anaheim, a few miles from Fullerton, the city in which I was born. That’s right. I was born in the OC.

The Angels play across the street from Disneyland. If you can see Space Mountain and the Matterhorn from your parking lot, you’re not in Los Angeles.

It’s not like Los Angeles doesn’t have a baseball team. Not only do they have one, it’s very popular with people who actually live in Los Angeles.

Steve Ballmer signs deal to buy Clippers for $2 billion

Former Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer has signed an agreement with the Sterling family trust to purchase the Los Angeles Clippers for $2 billion.

The Clippers are the third most popular basketball ball team in Los Angeles, after the Lakers and then the UCLA Bruins. After the deal is completed, it will be the richest deal ever paid for an American sports team. The Los Angeles Dodgers sold for $2.15 billion, but that deal included Dodger Stadium and the massive, but dangerous parking lot. The Clippers don’t have their own arena. They share the Staples Center with the Lakers and the Kings.

I don’t understand this deal. The second-richest contract for an NBA team was earlier this year when the Milwaukee Bucks sold for $550 million.

Steve Ballmer is supposedly worth $20 billion, so I guess it’s not a lot of money when it’s put into context. Still, if the Clippers are worth $2 billion, what are the Lakers worth?

Los Angeles is a weird sports town. It can’t support an NFL team, but one of its two professional basketball teams, the least popular of the two, is supposedly worth $2 billion.