Washington Capitals and Las Vegas Golden Knights tied 1-1

The Washington Capitals beat the Las Vegas Golden Knights 3-2 last night to even the series at one win each.

I didn’t even know the game was on last night. It’s harder and harder to watch hockey when I can’t watch it on my NHL.tv streaming account.  I’m not used to watching games in real time. The Stanley Cup Final games float from one channel to another.

Here’s the schedule for the rest of the Stanley Cup Finals:

  • Game 3 at Washington Saturday, June 2 – NBCSN
  • Game 4 at Washington Monday, June 4 – NBC
  • Game 5 at Las Vegas Thursday, June 7 – NBC
  • Game 6 at Washington Sunday, June 10 – NBC
  • Game 7 at Las Vegas Wednesday, June 13 – NBC

So after Game 3, the rest of the games will be on the regular NBC channel. That makes it easier. We only get NBCSN by streaming it, logged into it with my mother-in-law’s cable TV account. To get it on Dish Network, we have to pay for a bunch of other channels we don’t want. I’ve grown to really hate Dish Network.

After watching Game 1, I hate the Las Vegas Golden Knights. The pre-game show they put on was embarrassing to watch. It looked like something you’d see at a Medieval Times dinner show if you went to something like that. I would never go there. If you ever see me at Medieval Times eating a turkey leg and watching two guys pretend to knight fight, do me a favor and shoot me in the head. It’s not me. It’s probably a robot from the future pretending to be me.

I also hate the Golden Knights because of their fans. They are the epidemy of bandwagon fans. The team didn’t even exist until this season. The Golden Knights are an expansion team. That means every Golden Knights fan either never watched NHL hockey before this year and had a team they followed, or they ditched their favorite NHL team and latched on to this one.

Lifelong Golden Knights fans.

A Golden Knights fan doesn’t know what it’s like to experience the bad times. For them, it’s all been good. How do you establish an emotional bond with a team without the shared suffering? For them, it’s been nothing but good times. Good times at Medieval Times.

And what is a Golden Knight? It sounds like a prissy knight who probably avoids fighting other knights because they don’t want to mess up their fancy golden armor. Thanks, but no thanks. I’d rather root for the knight with the banged up armor, stained and rusted from the blood of his enemies.

LA Kings forward Jarret Stoll arrested for drugs

Los Angeles Kings forward Jarret Stoll was arrested at the MGM Grand’s Wet Republic pool in Las Vegas on suspicion of drug possession. The drugs in question, plural, were cocaine and Ecstasy. Stoll was able to post $5,000 in bond and was released.

Stoll and the Kings didn’t make the Stanley Cup playoffs this season, so I guess that means he has time to do cocaine like it’s 1982 and consume Ecstasy. I wouldn’t think coke and Ecstasy would go well together, but what do I know about elicit street drug use? Everything I know about drugs I got from watching episodes of Miami Vice and the original Law & Order.

Jarret Stoll has been with the Kings since 2008. He helped them win two Stanley Cup Championships and will be an unrestricted free agent on July 1. He’s also the longtime boyfriend of sportscaster Erin Andrews.

Jarret Stoll and Erin Andrews

Just because Stoll is a user of illegal drugs doesn’t necessarily mean that Erin Andrews is. For example, I’ve been known to drink boxed wine and Guinness, although not at the same time. My wife has never partaken of either adult beverage, at least not to my knowledge. I can’t remember the last time I saw her have an alcoholic beverage. Just because Stoll uses cocaine and Ecstasy, doesn’t mean Andrews does too.

Also, Andrews’ drug of choice is TruBiotics, something that helps you poop.