I was completely wrong about Tom Brady

In the past, I’ve said some not-so-nice things about New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady. I’ve called him a cheater. I’ve compared him to Sammy Sosa. I’ve called him a spoiled baby.

Tom Brady didn’t deserve any of my criticism.

Everything I’ve ever said about Tom Brady was wrong. If I could manipulate time, I would go back and not write negative things about Tom Brady. In all honesty though, I would first go back and kill baby Hitler, but as soon as I completed my act of justifiable infanticide, I’d go back and not blog hostile things about Tom Brady.

I’ve been thinking about the whole deflategate controversy since the beginning of the 2015-16 NFL season. I’ve looked at it with fresh eyes. If the footballs used by the Patriots in the 2014-15 AFC Championship Game against the Indianapolis Colts were under-inflated, why didn’t any of the officials on the field notice? The officials handled the footballs every play. The Colts had their own footballs. The Patriots had their own footballs. If something was different between the two, the officials would have noticed.

If, after the game, the NFL determined the footballs were under-inflated, why then weren’t any of the officials disciplined for allowing the game to be played with squishy footballs?

The officials weren’t disciplined because there wasn’t a noticeable difference in the footballs.

Also, if the exact air pressure of a football is so important and sacred to the integrity of the game, why does the NFL allow each team to provide their own footballs? If the amount of air in a football was important, the NFL would provide the footballs. The teams would not be allowed to provide their own footballs. The air pressure in the footballs would be checked constantly throughout the game. There would be sideline laboratories staffed with expert scientists using state-of-the-art pneumatic pressure instruments, ensuring the footballs were properly inflated.

In retrospect, the whole deflategate thing was stupid. It’s the worst kind of controversy: a non-controversy. I think I allowed my own personal biases against Boston sports teams and their insufferable fans to cloud and contaminate my opinion. Like most people, I associate Boston sports teams with obnoxious, blowhards like Bill Simmons and Sarah Silverman. I shouldn’t have done that.

I’ll try to be a better man in the future.

Tom Brady court appeal denied

New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady will finally have to serve the 4-game suspension levied on him by NFL commissioner Roger Goodell back in May of 2015.

Brady tried to get the U.S. Court Appeals for the Second Circuit to rehear his case. They issued a one-page document earlier today denying his petition.  His only chance now is to get his case heard by the U.S. Supreme Court, something they will almost certainly not do.

Then again, the U.S. Supreme Court named George W. Bush the president even though Al Gore, inventor of both the Internet and global warming, received the most votes. Who knows what the top court in all the land will do at any given time. Most of its members are too old to be Walmart door greeters. We shouldn’t be overly surprised by anything they do.

The cheating cheater known as Tom Brady is a spoiled baby. He cheated in the AFC Championship Game, using under inflated, easier to catch footballs. Instead of taking his suspension like a man, or what passes as a man in Massachusetts, he tried to use the courts to get out of paying the price for his wretched dishonesty. I wish he could be suspended for more than four games. He wasted everyone’s time. He should be penalized for that.

I hate Tom Brady. Religious cult leader and conveyor of folksy wisdom Will Rogers once said he hadn’t met a man he didn’t like. I would like to point out that Will Rogers obviously never met Tom Brady.

ESPN fired Bill Simmons

ESPN, the self-proclaimed worldwide leader in sports, fired its long-time podcaster, columnist, creator of content, and provocateur, Bill Simmons. Grandland, the website founded by Simmons, will remain under the control of ESPN. As of this morning, Simmons is still listed prominently on the Grantland website and he’s still identified as its editor-in-chief.

I’m surprised this didn’t happen sooner. He’s been suspended by ESPN many times for saying controversial things on Twitter and his podcast. Last year, he was suspended three weeks for saying on his The B.S. Report podcast that NFL commissioner Roger Goodell was lying about the league’s handling of the Ray Rice domestic violence case.

When your employer suspends you for three weeks, you have to figure the next rung on the punishment ladder is termination.

The final straw appears to be an unsanctioned appearance on The Dan Patrick Show. ESPN employees are forbidden on appearing on the former ESPN anchor’s radio show without permission. Simmons appeared on the show on Thursday, May 7, without a signed permission slip. He was then let go by ESPN the very next day.

I used to listen to The B.S. Report fairly regularly, but recently, I’ve found it impossible to listen to. Simmons has a certain shtick about him and that shtick can go a long way. Also, he has a weird nastily-toned voice. It can be grating to the ears. He recently began another podcast for ESPN, an NBA centric show called Bill Don’t Lie. I never listened to it, but from what I understand, it was pretty awful.

I was looking forward to hearing his take on the Wells report, the special report commissioned by the NFL over allegations that Tom Brady and the rest of the New England Patriots cheated in the AFC Championship with underinflated footballs. Bill Simmons is originally from the New England area and can always be counted on to be a unapologetic homer for any New England area sports team. Like most male sports fans from New England, Bill Simmons has a heterosexual crush on Tom Brady.

It would have been entertaining listening to him excuse Brady’s cheating.