Buffalo Bills make Minnesota Vikings look like Canadian high school team

The Buffalo Bills beat the Minnesota Vikings yesterday 27-6. It was the Bills’ first win of the season. The Vikings now have a very Cleveland Browns type record at 1-1-1.

Bookmakers in Las Vegas were giving degenerate gamblers 17 points so they would place a bet on the Bills.  When bookmakers give odds, their goal is to get an even amount of degenerate gamblers on each team. They hope to make their money on the vig, the amount charged to the winner. Yesterday’s upset was the largest in 23 years.

I don’t bet on football. I only bet on the weather and Nerf cockfights. It’s like regular cockfighting, but the combatants wear Nerf boxing gloves over their talons so the cocks don’t get hurt. It’s good clean fun. I learned all about it in the Boy Scouts.

Yesterday’s game is the reason you watch the football. Even though you think you know what will happen, you never really know.

Vikings change their mind about Adrian Peterson

Looks like Adrian Peterson will have more time to beat his kids and post weird, religious sounding missives on the Twitter. The Minnesota Vikings have reversed their earlier decision and will not be playing Peterson this Sunday against the New Orleans Saints. They’ve placed him on something called the NFL’s exempt/commissioner’s permission list until the whole child abuse thing is resolved.

Evidently he wont be allowed to be around the team while on the list. It’s not clear if he will still be drawing a paycheck during his absence, but since his agent seems to be fine with it, I’m guessing that he will still get paid.

Child abuser Adrian Peterson releases a statement

Minnesota Vikings running back Adrian Peterson released a statement yesterday addressing the criminal charge that he physically abused his four-year-old son with a tree branch.

The statement:

My attorney has asked me not to discuss the facts of my pending case. I hope you can respect that request and help me honor it. I very much want the public to hear from me but I understand that it is not appropriate to talk about the facts in detail at this time. Nevertheless, I want everyone to understand how sorry I feel about the hurt I have brought to my child.

I never wanted to be a distraction to the Vikings organization, the Minnesota community or to my teammates. I never imagined being in a position where the world is judging my parenting skills or calling me a child abuser because of the discipline I administered to my son.

I voluntarily appeared before the grand jury several weeks ago to answer any and all questions they had. Before my grand jury appearance, I was interviewed by two different police agencies without an attorney. In each of these interviews I have said the same thing, and that is that I never ever intended to harm my son. I will say the same thing once I have my day in court.

I have to live with the fact that when I disciplined my son the way I was disciplined as a child, I caused an injury that I never intended or thought would happen. I know that many people disagree with the way I disciplined my child. I also understand after meeting with a psychologist that there are other alternative ways of disciplining a child that may be more appropriate.

I have learned a lot and have had to reevaluate how I discipline my son going forward. But deep in my heart I have always believed I could have been one of those kids that was lost in the streets without the discipline instilled in me by my parents and other relatives. I have always believed that the way my parents disciplined me has a great deal to do with the success I have enjoyed as a man. I love my son and I will continue to become a better parent and learn from any mistakes I ever make.

I am not a perfect son. I am not a perfect husband. I am not a perfect parent, but I am, without a doubt, not a child abuser. I am someone that disciplined his child and did not intend to cause him any injury. No one can understand the hurt that I feel for my son and for the harm I caused him. My goal is always to teach my son right from wrong and that’s what I tried to do that day.

I accept the fact that people feel very strongly about this issue and what they think about my conduct. Regardless of what others think, however, I love my son very much and I will continue to try to become a better father and person.

If you’ve read any of the incoherent, mistake-ridden texts that Adrian Peterson sent the mother of the child he abused, then you know that there is zero chance he wrote this statement. I doubt Adrian Peterson could even read this statement without help, let alone write it.

With that said, it doesn’t sound as though he is at all sorry that he physically abused his own child.

He mentions that he never intended to injure his son. So what? I doubt many abusers of children intend to harm their victims. The physical act is the problem, not the intent. By Peterson’s own account, he beat his son 10-15 times with the tree branch. As the photos show, he left many open wounds on his son’s body. He didn’t take his son to the doctor, even though according to the reports, one of the wounds was on his son’s scrotum.

To physically punish a four-year-old to the extent that it leaves a wound on the boy’s scrotum, is barbaric. To then not seek medical treatment for your son’s injuries, the injuries you caused, is inhuman.

Adrian Peterson is a terrible person. He deserves to be in jail.

Adrian Peterson facing two years in prison

Minnesota Vikings star running back Adrian Peterson is facing up to two years in a Texas prison for beating his four-year-old child repeatedly with a tree branch, causing multiple cuts, bruises, and abrasions on the young boys legs, buttocks, and scrotum.

Yes, the scrotum.

I feel like unless Peterson is incarcerated for a substantial period of time, he will not get punished. Not really. How do you fine a multi-millionaire unless the fine includes lots of zeroes and a few commas? You can’t. Fines in the criminal justice system are geared towards normal humans, not star professional athletes. The maximum fine Peterson is facing from this incident is $10,000.

That’s nothing to him.

Peterson reportedly sent the following text messages to the boy’s mother in Minnesota:

Got him in nuts once I noticed. But I felt so bad, n I’m all tearing that butt up when needed! I start putting them in timeout. N save the whooping for needed memories!

Never do I go overboard! But all my kids will know, hey daddy has the biggie heart but don’t play no games when it comes to acting right.

What did Peterson’s four-year-old child do to deserve the “whooping”? He supposedly pushed one of Peterson’s other children, a five-year-old boy, off a video game they were all playing. For that, a professional football player attacks his lower extremities with a tree branch. I guess an old car antenna wasn’t handy.

Adrian Peterson has at least five children, all with different mothers. According to an ex-girlfriend, he may have up to seven children. That doesn’t include Tyrese, the child he never met who was murdered two years ago by the mother’s boyfriend.

Adrian Peterson, child abuser

Who’s worse than a man who punches his long-time girlfriend and the mother of his child in a casino elevator, rendering her unconscious? A man who abuses his 4-year-old child with a tree branch, leaving a series of cuts, bruises, and abrasions on his back, buttocks, ankles, legs and scrotum, that’s who.

Adrian Peterson, star running back of the Minnesota Vikings was indicted in Montgomery County, Texas, for reckless or negligent injury to a child. An arrest warrant was issued.

In case you’re wondering if this was just a good old-fashioned spanking, the kind a loving father administers to his child as a way of correcting bad behavior, allow me to nip that idea right in the bud. Here are some photos taken of the boy a week after the spanking assault:

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The Vikings deactivated Peterson for Sunday’s home game against the Patriots. He should get used to that, not playing football on Sundays.

You know who’s really to blame for the injuries? According to Peterson, the child. From Nick Wright at CBS Houston:

Peterson also expressed regret that his son did not cry – because then, Peterson said, he would have known that the switch was doing more damage than intended.

If only the child had cried, Peterson would have known the extent of the harm he was inflicting. Stupid kid with his stupid stiff upper lip. Doesn’t he realize how much trouble his non-crying ways have gotten his daddy into?

Peterson probably doesn’t realize it yet, but his NFL career is over. You can’t whip a 4-year-old child’s exposed scrotum with a tree branch and expect to keep on playing in the National Football League.

Not anymore.

University of Minnesota wants to ban the word 'Redskins'

The Minnesota Vikings will be playing all their home games at the University of Minnesota while they wait for their new, shiny stadium to be built. The Vikings will be hosting the Washington Redskins November 9. According to the school’s president, Eric W. Kaler, the university is working with the Vikings to keep the word “Redskins” out of all promotional and game date materials. According to Lester Bagley, vice president of public affairs, the team is still deciding how to respond to the school’s request.

In case you’re wondering, the Minnesota Vikings are paying the University of Minnesota $250,000 a game to play in their stadium.

I’m not sure what this request means. It’s been a long time since I’ve attended an NFL game. I don’t remember seeing the visiting team’s name anywhere unless it was on the scoreboard. The word “Redskins” appears on each player’s jersey, between the NFL shield logo and the player’s number.

What’s the school want to be done about that?

I feel sorry for anyone who’s genuinely offended by the name of the Washington Redskins. I would hate to be someone who’s so easily offended by a word. I don’t think I’ve ever been offended by what someone said or by the long-standing name of something, but I imagine if I ever had, it would be quite awful. Words I don’t like, I don’t use. It would never occur to me to get other people to stop using them.

That to me seems pushy.