The Cleveland Browns win a football game!

The Cleveland Browns beat the New York Jets Thursday night 21-17. The Browns were losing 0-14 when rookie quarterback Baker Mayfield came in late in the second quarter to replace an injured Tyrod Taylor (brain). Mayfield went on to throw 17-23 for 201 yards. His quarterback rating is a spiffy 100.1.

Thursday night’s win was massive considering the Browns have not won a game in 635 days. Their record is now 1-1-1.

They’ve tied a game, they’ve lost a game, and they’ve won a game.

I’m not a degenerate card-playing gambler, but in poker, isn’t this a straight?

I like the Cleveland Browns

The Browns have great uniforms. Their fans have a passion not found in most NFL fans. I was at a Los Angeles Raiders game on September 20th, 1992 and watched Eric Metcalf destroy the Raiders for a total of 201 total yards. He looked like Bo Jackson in Tecmo Bowl. There were thousands of Browns fans in attendance and they would throw Milk-Bone dog treats at each other every time the Browns did something good.

1992 Upper Deck #455 Eric Metcalf.

There were a lot of dog treats getting thrown that day.

I feel for the Cleveland Browns fans

I don’t have a favorite NFL football team. Not really. Not anymore. There are teams I despise, but I don’t have a team I’m in love with. If I did have a favorite team, I think I’d make the Cleveland Browns that team. I want to see them do well. The fans don’t deserve any of the grief they’ve been on the receiving end of the last 25 years. Their team up an moves to Baltimore renames itself the Ravens and goes on to win two Super Bowls. They then get an expansion team named the Browns that year after year plays worse than a Donald Trump-owned USFL team. The Browns fans didn’t deserve any of this.

For Browns fans everywhere, I hope Thursday night’s game is a sign they’re turning things around.

LeBron James signs four year deal with the Lakers

LeBron James left the Cleveland Cavaliers as a free agent for the second time in his career and signed a four year, $154 million deal with the Los Angeles Lakers.

Will fans in Cleveland burn his jerseys for the second time? I hope not. The fumes from a burning polyester jersey can’t be good for the respiratory system. Who knows what carcinogens are released into the atmosphere when flame takes to an NBA jersey.

Let’s hope Cleaveland fans aren’t as mad at LeBron this time as they were last time. He did come back and took the Cavaliers to the NBA Finals for the last four years, winning a championship in 2016. Burning a jersey is silly, Nike will only make more.

Speaking of Nike, can you imagine how many JeBron James Los Angeles Lakers jerseys they will be selling over the next few months? Personally, I want a purple one.

LeBron James signs four year deal with the Lakers - Bent Corner
The Lakers official store is already selling LeBron jerseys.

Once in a generation

LeBron James is the greatest basketball player of his generation. It’s not even close. He brings a lot to the Lakers. This includes:

  • 7th scoring: 3,1038
  • 11th in assists: 8,208
  • 59th in rebounds: 8,415
  • 16th in steals: 1,865
  • 14-time All-Star
  • 4-time MVP
  •  3-time NBA Champ

To me, the most remarkable thing about LeBron James is that he’s been to eight straight NBA Finals. The last time LeBron was not at the NBA Finals? In 2010 when the Lakers beat the Boston Celtics. No other player in NBA history has been to eight straight NBA Finals. Can he make it nine in a row?

That’s what Lakers fan want to find out.

I feel sorry for Los Angeles Clippers fans who live in Los Angeles. All six of them. It must suck to see the greatest player in the NBA sign with the team everyone else in Los Angeles roots for but you.

I would say I feel sorry for Cleveland fans, but that wouldn’t be true. Cleveland fans are used to disappointment and despair. Then again, they did win the NBA Championship in 2016. The Cleveland Browns also won two Super Bowls, the first in 2001 and then again in 2013. They did have to move to Baltimore and change the name from the Browns to the Ravens to make that happen. A small price to pay to be a champion.

 

Robert Griffin III is a dirtbag

Former Washington Redskins quarterback Robert Griffin III made news a few days ago when word got out that he was divorcing Rebecca Liddicoat, his wife three years. The two have one child together.

More details are now beginning to come out. Griffin began a relationship with Grete Sadeiko, an Estonian-born student attending Florida State on a track and field scholarship, seven months after the birth of his daughter. The two reportedly met on Instagram.

Instagram? I must be using the online service wrong. I thought Instagram was an app for posting dumb photos. I didn’t know it was an app for NFL players to find European whores.

Griffin and Sadeiko were keeping their relationship on the down-low until sometime in April. That is what Griffin’s wife found out about it.

Robert Griffin III is a terrible human being. How fitting that he is now plying his football skills for the Clevland Browns. The Browns are the worst team in the NFL.

I know only too well that marriages, especially first marriages, often end in divorce. There is a way to go about ending your marriage that does not make you an asshole. For example, end your current relationship before you begin a new one. Rebecca Liddicoat is not just his wife; she is the mother of his child. The level of disrespect Robert Griffin III is directing towards Rebecca Liddicoat is disgusting.

The child will grow up and find out all the facts behind her parent’s breakup. She is going to see that her father was not only a terrible quarterback, but he was also a terrible husband and father.

Reportedly Robert Griffin III got Grete Sadeiko’s name tattooed on his arm. What a classless idiot.

On a side note, I was in Marshalls the other day and noticed a huge assortment of Washington Redskins Robert Griffin III jerseys.

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Finding jerseys of players who are no longer with a team at Marshalls is nothing new. What got me about this jersey was the price. I was only $7.99. I have never seen a football jersey at Marshalls for that cheap. They are the Nike Limited version, one step below the Nike Elites. They typically go for $149.99.

It is as though Marshalls took into consideration the fact that Robert Griffin III is a dirtbag when they set the price. I would rather wear Taliban robes or a Jimmy Buffett concert t-shirt than a Robert Griffin III jersey.

Preseason football is stupid

In last night’s preseason opener “win” against the Cleveland Browns, the Washington Redskins lost tight end Niles Paul for the season with a broken ankle. The season as in the regular season.

Paul broke his ankle in a meaningless game in the preseason, something the NFL has had for far too long. The regular NFL season is 16 games long. That’s already far too long to play football, especially when it’s played the way it’s played today. Players are too big, too strong, and too fast to play that many games. The amount of carnage put on most NFL players on a weekly basis, is insane. The millionaires and billionaires that run the NFL ought to be coming up with ways of playing less football, not more.

The first thing they should do is abolish the preseason.

It’s not needed. Not really. College football, America’s second most popular sport, doesn’t have a preseason and it seems to get a long just fine without it. The players in college football are technically amateurs, yet they are somehow able to prepare themselves before the season starts without preseason games. NFL players come from the college ranks, so why do they need a preseason to prepare themselves?

They don’t.

Team owners enjoy the preseason because it makes them a lot of money, money they don’t have to share with the players. They force season ticket owners to buy two preseason home game tickets as part of the season ticket package. They also make a lot of money selling food and drink at each home game, whether it’s the preseason or the regular season. Concession stands charge the same for a beer whether it’s the preseason or the regular season.

Players make very little money during the preseason. Veteran players make a standard, flat-rate $1,600 per diem each week in training camp. Rookies make $850 a week during training camp. Preseason games are part of training camp. Players don’t make their regular paycheck until the regular season begins. Players in the NFL are paid 1/16 of their yearly salary each Monday of the regular season.

If I was in charge of the NFL, I’d abolish the preseason. I’d shorten the regular season to ten games, and I’d require a mandatory 10-day break for between games. This would allow players to recuperate more fully between games. Instead of concentrating most games on Sunday, I’d spread them out during the week. I’d also increase the 53-man roster to at least 70 players.

Preseason football, like all stupid things, will eventually go away. It’s just a matter of when, not if.

The truth about cold weather football

I was reading about today’s NFC Championship game between the New York football Giants and the Green Bay Packers. The article mentioned it might turn out to be the coldest game played in NFL history. They say the temperature in Green Bay will be a balmy 3 degrees tonight at the 5:30 PM CST kickoff.

I’ve never been to Green Bay, but I did once watch a football game in the brutal cold. On January 15, 1994, I went to Orchard Park, New York to watch the Los Angeles Raiders lose to the Buffalo Bills 29-23.

Back in my Air Force Days

I was in the Air Force and stationed at Griffiss Air Force Base located in upstate New York. ESPN shows it was the 3rd coldest game played in NFL history. They show the temperature was zero degrees with a windchill of minus-32. I remember it being minus-40, but maybe it’s warmed up 8 degrees since then.

It wasn’t just cold, it was alien planet cold.

The worse part about watching a football game in the brutal cold is sitting in one spot for hours at a time, not moving. You are just sitting there. No matter how much you bundle up, you are going to get cold. The number of layers of clothing you put on only helps to delay the inevitable.

You will get cold and once you do, it’s impossible to get warm.

We had seats on the two-yard line, 13 rows up from the field. I remember things sounding different in the cold. The Raiders moved the ball and scored a touchdown. They then attempted an extra point. When the kicker’s foot hit the ball, it made a bizarre sound. It didn’t sound right. It didn’t sound like a shoe making contact with a leather football. The ball failed to go through the uprights and instead bounced off the crossbar. It sounded like a cannonball hitting the metal crossbar.

Buffalo Bills fans are stupid

I remember a Bills fan sitting in the end zone seating taking off his clothing from the waist up. His bare, pale flesh was exposed to the elements. Security grabbed him and took him off somewhere. I guess he wanted to get on TV. I don’t know if he got on TV, but his stupid stunt earned him a permanent spot in my personal memory banks.

Looking back at this photo, I wonder how many of these Bills fans are still alive and how many died in horrific snowmobile accidents.

I went to the game bundled in layers of clothing:

  • Los Angeles Raiders Starter pullover jacket
  • Air Force extreme weather parka
  • Sweatpants and long underwear under my pants
  • Air Force issued cold weather mummy sleeping bag

I’m glad I did. That said, it took me about three days to get warm.

The ironic thing about that game was how it contrasted with the prior Raiders game I attended. It was at the Los Angeles Colosseum where they lost to the visiting Cleveland Browns. I think it was the last road game the Browns ever won. The temperature on the field was 100 degrees and I walked away with a nasty sunburn.

Even though the Raiders lost the game, I was glad I went. It turned out to be Howie Long’s final game. He was always my favorite player.