Why don’t our Chinese economic overlords like our ‘Star Wars’ movies?

I just read that the newest Star Wars movie, The Last Jedi, is no longer available in China. It’s been pulled out of theaters. The reason? The Chinese just don’t like Star Wars.

This fact makes me sad on many fronts. For one thing, China owns most of our national debt, so that means they’re our economic bosses. They’re like one of those assholes on Shark Tank who buys 75% of some poor entrepreneur’s company for $15,0000 without the entrepreneur even realizing they no longer control their own company. The Shark Tank asshole does.

We don't our Chinese overlords like our 'Star Wars' movies? - Bent Corner

China is Mark Cuban and we are the married couple on hard times who accidentally invented a self-changing diaper.

China could just tell us to stop making Star Wars movies and we would have to do what they say. They could tell us to instead start making Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon movies and there’s nothing we could do about it.

It makes me sad that China doesn’t like Star Wars. As much as I love Chinese food, I want them to love our popular movie franchises.

We don't our Chinese overlords like our 'Star Wars' movies? - Bent Corner
Hot and Sour Soup

It’s not fair that I would kill a hobo for a good bowl of hot and sour soup, but the Chinese people don’t care for Chewbacca.

I just wish there was something I could do. I wish I could try to convince the Chinese people who Star Wars is pretty awesome.

Russia may give Edward Snowden to Donald Trump

From NBC News:

U.S. intelligence has collected information that Russia is considering turning over Edward Snowden as a “gift” to President Donald Trump — who has called the NSA leaker a “spy” and a “traitor” who deserves to be executed.

That’s according to a senior U.S. official who has analyzed a series of highly sensitive intelligence reports detailing Russian deliberations and who says a Snowden handover is one of various ploys to “curry favor” with Trump. A second source in the intelligence community confirms the intelligence about the Russian conversations and notes it has been gathered since the inauguration.

Oh how I wish this is true. Edward Snowden stole millions of classified documents. He leaked these stolen classified documents to various newspapers and publications. He then fled to China and then Russia with the stolen classified documents.

We will never know how much of the stolen classified documents Snowden shared with China and Russia. My guess is that he shared everything. I doubt China would have allowed him to leave if he had not first given them everything he had. The same theory applies to Russia. Vladimir Putin would never send Snowden back to the United States if he still had classified information Russia did not have. That’s not the way it works.

Edward Snowden is a traitor, a thief, and terrible human being. I don’t like Donald Trump. I didn’t vote for Donald Trump. I don’t agree with Donald Trump on many things. If a Trump presidency means Edward Snowden is finally extradited to the United States so that he can stand trial, a small part of me would be happy with Trump being our president.

Just to be clear, that part is so small you would probably need an electron microscope to see it.