Why don’t our Chinese economic overlords like our ‘Star Wars’ movies?

I just read that the newest Star Wars movie, The Last Jedi, is no longer available in China. It’s been pulled out of theaters. The reason? The Chinese just don’t like Star Wars.

This fact makes me sad on many fronts. For one thing, China owns most of our national debt, so that means they’re our economic bosses. They’re like one of those assholes on Shark Tank who buys 75% of some poor entrepreneur’s company for $15,0000 without the entrepreneur even realizing they no longer control their own company. The Shark Tank asshole does.

We don't our Chinese overlords like our 'Star Wars' movies? - Bent Corner

China is Mark Cuban and we are the married couple on hard times who accidentally invented a self-changing diaper.

China could just tell us to stop making Star Wars movies and we would have to do what they say. They could tell us to instead start making Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon movies and there’s nothing we could do about it.

It makes me sad that China doesn’t like Star Wars. As much as I love Chinese food, I want them to love our popular movie franchises.

We don't our Chinese overlords like our 'Star Wars' movies? - Bent Corner
Hot and Sour Soup

It’s not fair that I would kill a hobo for a good bowl of hot and sour soup, but the Chinese people don’t care for Chewbacca.

I just wish there was something I could do. I wish I could try to convince the Chinese people who Star Wars is pretty awesome.

Why would Chewbacca have a name he cannot pronounce?

A Facebook discussion yesterday on the merits of Star Wars reminded me of something that’s bothered me for years: why can’t Chewbacca pronounce his own name? More specifically, why would he even have a name he cannot pronounce? Not only can’t Chewbacca pronounce his own name, Wookies, the race Chewbacca comes from, cannot even say the word Wookie.

It just doesn’t make any sense. Granted, it’s a fictional universe where sound travels in space and Jedi Knights can make inanimate objects float through the air with their minds. I get the fact that it’s all silly make-believe. I just don’t think there’s ever been a fictional character in any medium that’s had a name they personally cannot pronounce.

Chewbacca is an intelligent being

Who would have a name they are incapable of pronouncing? It’s as though Han Solo gave him the name like a person would with a dog or a cat. The difference is that Wookies are intelligent creatures with their own language and culture. Granted, their language sounds like the noise a mentally retarded Irish Setter would make if it snorted crystal meth, but it’s still a language. I guess. Chewbacca is a sentient creature that can navigate and pilot a starship, play three-dimensional battle chess with a druid, and shoot a Bowcaster.

How does Chewbacca introduce himself to others?  How does he tell people where he’s from? I just don’t get it.