Cheaters Archives – Bent Corner

Tom Brady is Sammy Sosa

The person of interest was already interviewed by the league. The NFL is trying to determine whether any wrongdoing by this individual occurred, sources tell FOX Sports.

There is surveillance video showing the attendant taking the footballs from the official’s locker room into another room at Gillette Stadium before bringing them out to the field, sources tell FOX Sports.

If Jay Glazer is saying it, it must be true. With that said, I’m not sure I understand the point of finding out who took the air out of the balls. The point is that Tom Brady, LeGarrette Blount, Julian Edelman, Rob Gronkowski, and the rest of the Patriots’ offensive players were using illegal footballs that gave them an unfair advantage in the AFC Championship game. It doesn’t really matter who tampered with the balls, the point is that they were tampered with and then the Patriots knowingly used them in the AFC Championship game.

There’s no way Brady and the rest of the Patriots didn’t know there was something different about the footballs. They were easier to throw, they were easier to catch, and they were easier to not fumble.

Sammy Sosa would have made a fine Patriot

When Sammy Sosa was caught using a corked bat in 2003, did it matter who corked the bat? Not really. Sosa was the one penalized by Major League Baseball for using an illegal bat in a meaningless, yet technically an official MLB game. Sosa was the guilty party, not the person who drilled out the hat, inserted cork in it, and then plugged it back up so nobody could tell.

Does anyone honestly think Tom Brady was throwing a football with two pounds per square inch less than regulation and didn’t know it?

I find it interesting how badly the NFL is investigating this controversy. I think that’s by design. Robert Kraft, the owner of the New England Patriots, is one of the most powerful owners in professional sports. Kraft is good friends with NFL commissioner Roger Goodell. If the recent Ray Rice domestic violence incident taught us anything, it’s that the NFL is pretty incompetent at conducting an investigation, even when they want to get to the truth. I don’t think that’s the case here. I don’t think they want to find out the truth.

The last thing the NFL wants to do is suspend Tom Brady for cheating before a Super Bowl.

New England Patriots are cheaters who cheat

There’s a big controversy going on now in the world of the NFL. It turns out that when the New England Patriots defeated the Indianapolis Colts in the AFC Championship game, they did so with illegal footballs.

NFL rules state that footballs must be inflated between 12.5 and 13.5 pounds of air per square inch (PSI). The NFL discovered after the game that 11 of the 12 balls the Patriots were using were under-inflated by 2 PSI. The NFL tested the 12 balls belonging to the Colts and they were all within regulations. It was clear the footballs the Patriots used in the game had been tampered with.

The issue only came to light after the Colts’ D’Qwell Jackson intercepted a pass from Patriots quarterback Tom Brady and kept the ball as a memento, and noticed that the ball was kind of squishy.

Under-inflated footballs are easier to throw short to medium distances. They’re easier to catch at any distance. The Patriots broke the rules of the game to get an unfair advantage. The New England Patriots cheated.

How is this fact newsworthy?

The New England Patriots cheat. It’s what they do. They’ve been caught cheating before. I have no reason to believe they won’t get caught cheating again. When I see the Patriots take the field, I just assume they’re cheating.

Discovering that the New England Patriots cheat is like discovering that Pope Francis has a deep love for the Lord Jesus Christ and all things Catholic. Instead of telling me that the Patriots cheat, tell me something I don’t know, like the ending to Interstellar.

The NFL surely won’t do anything about this, at least not before the Super Bowl. In another ball-related incident, the NFL fined Seattle Seahawks running back Marshawn Lynch $20,000 for grabbing his crotch in the NFC Championship game. They are more than willing to fine a player for an obscene gesture, but not for cheating. Every Patriots player who touched an under-inflated football on the field of play, broke NFL rules.

Where’s their fines? Don’t hold your breath. Seriously, don’t hold your breath. It’s not good for you. You need oxygen to survive. Permanent brain damage begins after only 4 minutes without oxygen. Granted, if you held your breath for any extended period, you’d pass out before any brain damage occurred, but it’s not worth the risk. If you’re like some of the people who try to post comments here, you can’t take any more brain damage.

Baltimore Orioles Chris Davis suspended 25 games for taking amphetamines

Baltimore Orioles first baseman Chris Davis was suspended by Major League Baseball for testing positive for amphetamines.

Davis released the following statement:

I apologize to my teammates, coaches, the Orioles organization and especially the fans. I made a mistake by taking Adderall. I had permission to use it in the past, but do not have a therapeutic use exemption (TUE) this year. I accept my punishment and will begin serving my suspension immediately.

Adderall? That’s a drug for kids who have ADHD. Davis seems more than happy to sit for 25 games. I almost get the impression that he’s just glad he didn’t get caught for taking something else.

A therapeutic use exemption (TUE) is something covered in the Joint Drug Agreement between MLB and the Major League Baseball Players Association. It essentially allows a player to take a banned substance if they have a doctor’s note and they promise, cross their heart hope to die, that what they’re taking isn’t being taken to give them a competitive edge. MLB allowed Alex Rodriguez to use performance enhancers before they didn’t allow him to use them, and he simply kept on using them.

I assume from Davis’ statement that he was probably using amphetamines with the league’s blessing last year when he hit 53 home runs and batted in 138 runs.

For having such gaudy numbers last year, Davis was having a terrible season this year. He was hitting only .196, but he hit 26 home runs and hit 72 runs batted in. He also had 173 strkeouts, second most in MLB.

Yankees pitcher Michael Pineda ejected for having pine tar on his neck

New York Yankees pitcher Michael Pineda was thrown out of last night’s game against the Boston Red Sox for having an illegal substance on his neck. It is believed that the illegal substance was pine tar.

Pine tar allows a pitcher to get a better grip on the ball. Grip is good. Baseball being baseball, hitters are allowed to use pine tar, pitchers are not. With that said, it’s kind of an unwritten rule that nothing will be said about a pitcher using pine tar when it’s cold, as long as they aren’t being obvious about using it. In cold weather, it’s harder to grip the ball. Pineda’s problem last night was that it wasn’t cold and he was being very obvious about it. He had it right on his neck for the world to see. Red Sox manager John Farrell asked the umpire to check Pineda’s neck and the rest was history.

The Red Sox went on to win the game 5-1.

As fate would have it, last night’s game was televised nationally on ESPN. I wouldn’t be surprised if someone from the four-letter network alerted the Red Sox about the pine tar on Pineda’s neck, knowing that the inspection and subsequent ejection would create lots of drama.

If there’s one thing ESPN likes is drama.

I’m not so sure it was Pineda’s fault. Once I saw a magician pull a quarter out from behind a young girl’s ear. Who was responsible for producing the quarter, the girl? I don’t think so. For all we know, a magician or a wizard could have put the pine tar on Pineda’s neck. I couldn’t help but notice that although the umpiring crew checked Pineda for foreign substances, they didn’t check the stands for wizards or magicians.

I guess we’ll never know.