Bent Corner

The smell of wine and cheap perfume.

Barack Obama

Choosing between Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton

I didn’t watch last night’s debate between Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton. The way I figure, if something weird happens, it will be plastered all over YouTube and Facebook. Other than watching something weird for entertainment purposes, I just don’t care. I dislike both candidates. I don’t want either to be the next president. Not only would I just prefer Barack Obama serving another four years, but I would even prefer George W. Bush to come back and perform four years of community service in the Oval Office.

I’m sure by now George W. Bush realizes where he screwed up before and would take great pains not to screw up again.

Choosing between Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton - Bent CornerI’d wager I’m not alone in this opinion.  I disliked George W. Bush greatly when he was our president, but I would prefer him over Orange Hitler or Grandma Nixon. Unfortunately, neither George W. Bush nor Barack Obama can serve again as president. The Consitution forbids it. The Constitution, the same document that states a black person is equal to three-fifths of a person, at least when it comes to representation in Congress, says a president can only serve two terms.

Choosing between Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton is like choosing between getting doused in the face with weapons-grade Ebola or full blown AIDS.

Jut pick one. Go ahead and pick one.

I’d prefer not to pick one. The same applies to Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton. One is like a bucket of AIDS, and the other is a spray can of Ebola. I’m not even sure which is which.

Bill Simmons: Giant head or tiny body?

Now that Bill Simmons’ stint at HBO has officially begun, I’m forced to watch a seemingly constant barrage of promos announcing that fact.  The self-described “sports guy” has taken his talents to HBO.

Got it.

Now leave me alone. I have HBO because I want to watch Game of Thrones, Silicon Valley, and Veep. I also like watching John Oliver’s Last Week Tonight. I pay for HBO because I want to watch these programs. You know what I don’t want to watch?

Anything involving Bill Simmons.

I don’t like Bill Simmons or the content he creates. That’s ok, because I don’t have to like him or his content. Some people do, some people don’t. As a consumer, I choose to not be his customer.

The problem is, when I turn on HBO to watch Game of Thrones, I’m forced to first watch Bill Simmons talk about how President Obama should make him the sports czar. If Obama should do anything involving Bill Simmons, he should declare him an enemy combatant and have him shipped off to Gitmo.

HBO is forcing me to look at his giant head or his tiny body. I can’t tell which of the two things is more correct. I do know that his head and his body are not to scale. The man probably cannot even wear t-shirts. Any t-shirt that would fit his puny body would not have a large enough neck hole for his bulbous head.

I would pay more for HBO if I was not subjected to Bill Simmons and his stupid promos.