Happy Easter and/or April’s Fool’s Day

Today is Easter, the day Jesus Christ arose from his tomb after dying for everyone’s sins. Your sins, your mother’s sins, even Jimmy Buffett’s sins. We’re talking everyone’s sins. All someone has to do to have their sins forgiven is to ask. Not the person who was the victim of their sin, but Jesus.

All you have to do is ask Jesus to forgive your sins. He’s the one who paid for the sins by dying on the Roman cross, so it kind of makes sense when you think about it. He paid for all sins you committed in the past, the present, or the future.

If you do ask Jesus to forgive your sins, you’re good. You’ll go to Heaven as soon as you shuffle off this mortal coil. If you fail to ask Jesus to forgive your sins, you’re going straight to Hell. That’s where the Devil lives.

Happy Easter and/or April's Fool's Day - Bent Corner
The Devil. Also known as Satan. Some even call him Lucifer.

The way the system works, it doesn’t matter what type of person you’ve been on this earth. You could live the best possible life, helping those in need and choosing to always do the right thing. If you don’t ask Jesus to forgive your sins, you’re spending eternity in a giant lake of fire.

On the other hand, you can be one of history’s biggest monsters and if you ask Jesus to forgive you for everything you’ve ever done, you’re going to Heaven. That means if Adolf Hitler asked Jesus to forgive him of his sins two seconds before Eva Braun shot him in the head, Hitler went to heaven.

Happy Easter and/or April's Fool's Day - Bent Corner
Statue of Adolf Hitler praying.

That’s just the way the religion works. Hitler might be in Heaven. It all depends on whether he asked or not. Plus, Hitler was Catholic. It wouldn’t be outside the realm of possibilities to imagine Hitler praying to Jesus before he died.

If you don’t like that, take it up with Jesus. He’s the one who set up the parameters used to determine who goes to Heaven and who goes to Hell.

Today is also April Fool’s Day. It’s the one day a year unfunny people attempt to be funny by making up something stupid and passing it off as the truth. In other words, it’s the one day a year people act like Fox News. If you fall for it, you’re the fool. I greatly hate April Fool’s Day and those who participate in it.

Happy Easter and/or April's Fool's Day - Bent Corner

When the Internet first started, April Fool’s Day was bad. As time went on, I think more and more people realized how stupid the whole thing was and decided not to engage in its foolery. Good.

I don’t know why Easter and April Fool’s Day are on the same day this year. I’m not a calendar scientist, so I don’t have an explanation. I know Easter floats around on different days each year while April Fool’s Day is locked onto the first of April. If you have a problem with both Easter and April Fool’s Day falling on the same day this year, blame Easter. It’s the one that can’t commit to a single day.

 

I hate April Fool’s Day

Today is April 1st, also known as April Fool’s Day. It’s the one day a year people who are not particularly all that funny attempt to crack wise by making something up that isn’t true and passing it off as fact. For instance, telling someone they have full-blown AIDS when they don’t. It’s dumb, it’s annoying, and it’s never amusing.

Like a lot of things, the Internet has made the April Fool’s Day a lot worse. Unfunny people take to the Internet to post their unfunny crap.

I just don’t get it. How is the act of you telling me something that is not true, and me believing it because I trust you, make me a fool?