The truth behind the first Thanksgiving

If you live in the United States of America, today is Thanksgiving. It’s the day we Americans give thanks for all the wonderful things we have.

The very first Thanksgiving was celebrated by the Pilgrims. They had just defeated the indigenous Wampanoags in a bloody, horrific battle. The Pilgrims attacked the Wampanoag after they noticed delicious smells wafting from the Wampanoag village. Intrigued by the smells, the Pilgrims believed it was a sign from God. They believed God wanted them to kill every Wampanoag man, woman, and child.

The fighting was fierce. The Wampanoags, like most North American Indians, were armed with bows and arrow, knives, clubs, and hatchets.

The blunderbusses, or as it’s more commonly referred to as the Pilgrim assault rifle.

The Pilgrims were armed with those dumb looking blunderbusses guns with a huge horn at the end.

The Pilgrims surely would have lost if it wasn’t for the fact they were protected by the one true God, Pilgrim Jesus. The Wampanoags were godless heathens. Plus, the Wampanoags had no idea the Pilgrims even had ill feelings towards them. The Wampanoags thought the Pilgrims were their friends. It was the type of battle military historians would later describe as a sneak attack.

When the Pilgrims finished slaughtering off the Wampanoag people, they discovered the source of the delicious smells, the trappings of a feist.

Not to pass up free food, the Pilgrims gorged themselves on the Wampanoag food. They had roasted turkey, mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce, sweet potatoes with tiny marshmallows, and green bean casserole. For dessert, there was pumpkin pie.

The day marked the first Thanksgiving. It also marked the day type two diabetes was invented.

As soon as the Pilgrims were done eating, they realized they had a problem. Because the Wampanoag lacked a written language, the recipes for all that food died with the Wampanoag people. Over the years, scientists have worked diligently at duplicating the original Wampanoag recipes.

I think you’ll agree with me, they’ve gotten it pretty close.

Charlie Rose fired for being sexual predator

Esteemed and respected journalist Charlie Rose has been found out as a degenerate sexual harasser or women. From the Washington Post:

Eight women have told The Washington Post that longtime television host Charlie Rose made unwanted sexual advances toward them, including lewd phone calls, walking around naked in their presence, or groping their breasts, buttocks or genital areas.

PBS and CBS responded to the article by firing the 75-year-old journalist.

I just don’t get it. I don’t know what I find more remarkable, that men like Rose have the desire to victimize subordinate women or that they assume they will get away with it. How many are more men like Rose are out there?

There are undoubtedly lots of other men in positions of power making unwanted sexual advances on women.

How can two news organizations not know that someone in their midst was a sexual predator? Both PBS and CBS should be ashamed. How am I supposed to respect 60 Minutes when one of their own presenters was a sexual predator who preyed upon underlings and they didn’t know about it?

If you cannot trust Charlie Rose, and you can’t, you are you supposed to trust?

It turns out, Anita Sarkeesian was maybe right

Infamous video game critic and hyper-feminist Anita Sarkeesian has an image on her Twitter page that shows a necklace that says, TRUST NO MAN.

When I first saw the image, I thought she was just trying to be edgy. I thought it was an example of over-the-top hyperbole meant to invoke a reaction. I chose not to take the bait. It’s why I didn’t write about it until now.

With the news that Senator Al Franken acted inappropriately with a woman during a USO tour, I now look at Anita Sarkeesian’s necklace and have to think it’s pretty dead on. If you can’t trust Al Franken not to act like a dirtbag, what man can you trust?

You trust no man, that’s who.

You don’t realize who your heroes are until they do something terrible and you’re left with a heavy feeling of disgust. That’s what I feel when I see the photo of Al Franken pretending to grope Leeann Tweeden while she sleeps, disgust. It’s clear to me now from the way I feel, Al Frankin was kind of a hero of mine. I really liked him.

Not anymore.

You can add Senator Al Franken to the list of pervs

In 2006, now Senator Al Franken, was part of a USO show traveling around the middle east entertaining the troops. One of the members of the show was Leeann Tweeden. She appeared on the covers of FHM, Maxim, and Playboy and was on the tour to act as an MC. She’s currently a radio anchor at KABC in Los Angeles.

She claims Franken groping her and forced her to kiss him several times throughout the trip.

After the trip was over, Leeann Tweeden was going through some photos and found the above photo of Franken posing for the camera while he pretended to grope Tweeden’s chest while she was asleep.

This photo makes me so angry. I used to like Al Franken. Past tense. I’ve read several of his books and I was going to add his newest book to the mental pile of books I need to read. Not anymore.

I’ve had with these men. I’ve lost all respect for Al Frankin. It’s dirtbags like him that make it hard for the rest of him. Fuck him and fuck whoever took this picture.

I hope they both drown in a swimming pool filled with weapon’s grade AIDS.

Show veterans respect by not calling everyone a Nazi

It’s become popular for some people to call anyone they disagree a Nazi. The problem is, a Nazi is a real thing. Nazis existed in Germany from 1933 to 1945. They killed millions of people and caused the world’s last major world war.

Nazis, real Nazis, don’t exist today because millions of people got together and fought them on the battlefields of western and eastern Europe. Soldiers, sailors, and airman from the United States, Britain, the Soviet Union, and other countries fought and killed real Nazis.  A good many of them gave their lives making sure Nazis didn’t triumph

Today, we live in a world free of Nazis. How do we show thanks to the veterans who defeated the Nazis? Some people call anyone whose opinions they don’t agree with Nazis.

It’s like World War Two never happened.

Even when Nazis existed, not every racist, even if they were white, was a Nazi. The problem is, the word racist has been bandied about so casually for so long, it lost its power. Calling someone a racist isn’t good enough anymore.

Some people on Twitter have taken advantage of Twitter’s new character limit to virtue signal against the social media giant. They want Twitter to ban all of the Nazis. Wil Wheaton is one of those people. He changed his name from Wil Wheaton to Wil ‘stop enabling the Nazis’ Wheaton.

It’s 2017. Not only does Wil Wheaton believe Nazis are still a thing, he thinks Twitter is enabling them.

Eradicating Nazism from planet Earth is one of the greatest accomplishments our country’s veterans ever accomplished. People like Wil Wheaton are completely tone-deaf to this fact this Veterans Day weekend. In their world, not only do Nazis still exist, Twitter is enabling them.

They would want you to believe Nazis are goosestepping all over Twitter.

The funny thing is if it were up to people like Wil Wheaton to defeat Nazi Germany during World War Two, the entire world would be speaking German right now.

Has every man on Earth suddenly gone full pervert?

I don’t understand what’s going on. I feel like I’m watching a bad episode of Law & Order: Special Victims Unit when I watch the evening news. It seems like every man in this country was told to go full pervert and someone forgot to tell me. I didn’t get the memo.

Harvey Weinstein

First, we found out film producer Harvey Weinstein was a massive sexual predator who used his position of power in Hollywood to force women to have sex with him.  Evidently, everyone in Hollywood knew he preyed upon women and nobody said anything. It was an “open secret,” whatever that means.

Kevin Spacey

Then, we found out Kevin Spacey tried to force himself on a 14-year-old boy when he was 26. Spacey issued a statement saying he doesn’t remember the incident but he was drinking a lot back then. Plus, he’s now officially gay.

If you can’t remember the time you tried to force yourself on a 14-year-old boy, it means you either have NFL level brain damage or you can’t remember because it was something you did all the time. After a while, all those 14-year-old boys just blur together, right? What a weirdo.

Roy Moore

Speaking of 14-year-olds, Judge Roy Moore, a hard-core Christian Republican running for the U.S. Senate in Alabama, is accused of trying to have sex with a 14-year-old girl when he was 32.

I bet he thinks he’s better than Kevin Spacey. He’s not.

If people are upset by this, the jokes on them. Judge Moore adheres to the Ten Commandments, not the laws of man. I just looked at the Ten Commandments. There’s not a word about having sex with 14-year-old girls, pro or con. Judge Moore is good to go and ready to rock the U.S. Senate.

I guess we now know the backstory of the gun Moore whipped out on stage at a rally. That little gun looked like something made for a 14-year-old girl. Maybe it was his girlfriend’s pistol.

Louis C.K.

And then there’s Louis C.K. He’s been accused of masturbating in front of non-consenting women. The story sounds so outlandish and depraved that it has to be true. Evidently, it too was an open secret.

This story bothers me the most because I was a fan of his comedy. No matter what happens from this point forward, I will never be able to laugh at his jokes again. There will be no possible resolution to this problem. He’s done making me laugh.

All these weirdos are the reason normal people have to go to sexual harassment training. When I worked in corporate America, it bothered me that I had to go annual sexual harassment training. I thought it was unnecessary and more than a little insulting. I didn’t need to be trained not to harass women just like I didn’t need to be trained not to kill people and eat their flesh.

I’m not a sexual harasser and I’m not a cannibal.

John Hillerman 1932 – 2017

John Hillerman is a man on the left.

I feel sorry for John Hillerman. He’s the actor who played Higgins on Magnum, P.I. He was such a master actor. Higgins was British and he sounded so snotty and refined, I just assumed has was British. Nope, he was from Texas. He was a Texan. That’s about as un-British as you can be.

John Hillerman died. He was 84. Because Louis C.K. literally can’t keep it in his pants, this is what I read on CNN this morning:

John Hillerman doesn’t deserve to have the word “masturbation” under the headline announcing his passing. John Hillerman was not a pervert.