Like Most Americans, I get my news not from newspapers or television, but from Twitter. Last night I noticed the hashtag #TrumpCantSwim was trending. If I’m reading it right, it indicates that Donald Trump can’t swim.
Could this be true? Does Donald Trump not know how to swim?
Earth is a water planet. Around 71% of the Earth’s surface is covered with water. How can someone live on such a planet for 70 years and not know how to swim? Has he never been thrown into a swimming pool? Donald Trump strikes me as the kind of guy people like to throw into a swimming pool.
What do they teach at Wharton? There’s even a fish in the school’s crest.
I don’t have much patience for people who’ve spent their entire life on planet Earth and don’t know how to swim. I’m old-school when it comes to that. If you call a water planet home, you’d better know how to swim.
If this is true, and I’m sure it is, or it wouldn’t be a hashtag on Twitter, Donald Trump needs to take a break from going around the country and saying stupid things and get himself over to a YMCA to learn to swim. It’s easy. Even a child can do it.
An Earth child that is, a warm-blooded child born on a planet where 71% of the surface is covered with water.
I’m not saying Donald Trump wasn’t born on Earth, that he was born on a far off desert planet called home by a race of advanced lizard people, but reading on Twitter that he doesn’t know how to swim does make me want to see his long-form birth certificate.
His Earth birth certificate.