Donald Trump can’t swim?

Like Most Americans, I get my news not from newspapers or television, but from Twitter. Last night I noticed the hashtag #TrumpCantSwim was trending. If I’m reading it right, it indicates that Donald Trump can’t swim.

Could this be true? Does Donald Trump not know how to swim?

Earth is a water planet. Around 71% of the Earth’s surface is covered with water. How can someone live on such a planet for 70 years and not know how to swim? Has he never been thrown into a swimming pool? Donald Trump strikes me as the kind of guy people like to throw into a swimming pool.

What do they teach at Wharton? There’s even a fish in the school’s crest.

I don’t have much patience for people who’ve spent their entire life on planet Earth and don’t know how to swim. I’m old-school when it comes to that. If you call a water planet home, you’d better know how to swim.

If this is true, and I’m sure it is, or it wouldn’t be a hashtag on Twitter, Donald Trump needs to take a break from going around the country and saying stupid things and get himself over to a YMCA to learn to swim. It’s easy. Even a child can do it.

An Earth child that is, a warm-blooded child born on a planet where 71% of the surface is covered with water.

I’m not saying Donald Trump wasn’t born on Earth, that he was born on a far off desert planet called home by a race of advanced lizard people, but reading on Twitter that he doesn’t know how to swim does make me want to see his long-form birth certificate.

His Earth birth certificate.

Is this the real Donald Trump?

 

Author: Rick Rottman

This is my personal blog. It's where I write about things when I feel like it.

1 thought on “Donald Trump can’t swim?”

  1. This hashtag is ludicrous ! If a person has all of the symptoms of a disease, there is a pretty good chance of them having that disease! Let us Look at the symptoms. Trump is slimy, slippery, has fish eyes, a fish mouth. He is easily bated, he smells fishy and has the perfect coloring of a
    Goldfish. Now who ever saw a Goldfish that couldn’t swim ?

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