Bill Simmons: Giant head or tiny body?

Now that Bill Simmons’ stint at HBO has officially begun, I’m forced to watch a seemingly constant barrage of promos announcing that fact.  The self-described “sports guy” has taken his talents to HBO.

Got it.

Now leave me alone. I have HBO because I want to watch Game of Thrones, Silicon Valley, and Veep. I also like watching John Oliver’s Last Week Tonight. I pay for HBO because I want to watch these programs. You know what I don’t want to watch?

Anything involving Bill Simmons.

I don’t like Bill Simmons or the content he creates. That’s ok, because I don’t have to like him or his content. Some people do, some people don’t. As a consumer, I choose to not be his customer.

The problem is, when I turn on HBO to watch Game of Thrones, I’m forced to first watch Bill Simmons talk about how President Obama should make him the sports czar. If Obama should do anything involving Bill Simmons, he should declare him an enemy combatant and have him shipped off to Gitmo.

HBO is forcing me to look at his giant head or his tiny body. I can’t tell which of the two things is more correct. I do know that his head and his body are not to scale. The man probably cannot even wear t-shirts. Any t-shirt that would fit his puny body would not have a large enough neck hole for his bulbous head.

I would pay more for HBO if I was not subjected to Bill Simmons and his stupid promos.

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