I wish ‘The Walking Dead’ was more like ‘The Love Boat’

I wish 'The Walking Dead' was more like 'The Love Boat'
Last night’s episode of The Walking Dead, the fourth season finale, was great. This has probably been the best season yet, especially the second half.

Most of the gang, everyone except Carol, Judith, Tyreese, was reunited at Terminus, albeit locked in a boxcar by a bunch of candle-loving cannibals.

Speaking of which, I learned an important lesson in last night’s episode: when older, long-haired Tasha Yar offers you a plate of barbecue, just say no. Tell her you already ate. Tell her you’re not hungry. Tell her anything, just don’t eat anything she’s serving up.

If you do, you may decide later to become a vegan.

As great as the episode was, it seems almost criminal to make viewers wait seven months for season five. That’s too long to wait. Season five isn’t supposed to kick off until October.

Back in the day, a series on TV ended in May and then began again the following September. When you watched the season finale of The Love Boat, it was assured you were going to see Gopher, Captain Stubing, Issac, and the rest of the Pacific Princess crew again in four short months. Not once did you have to wait seven months for The Love Boat to start again.

Why can’t The Walking Dead by more like The Love Boat?

The Walking Dead season 3 finale was a ginormous disapointment

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The third season of AMC’s The Walking Dead came to a close Sunday night and it set a new cable viewing record of 12.4 million viewers. I didn’t like it. I thought it was anti-climatic and featured some sub-par, sloppy writing.

For instance, when Rick spoke to Carl after the failed attack by the Governor’s people, he asked his son about the boy he shot. Rick asked Carl if he was handing over his gun when he shot him. Carl told his father that he couldn’t take the chance. He pointed out that Rick was in a room with the Governor and he let him go, and then the Governor killed Merle.

Carl was right. He was right in shooting the boy in the woods and he was right about the Governor killing Merle. The problem is, how did Carl know that? When the Governor shot Merle, the two men were alone in a room without anyone else there. The audience knows that the Governor shot Merle, but none of the show’s characters would know this other than the Governor himself. Carl would have absolutely no way of knowing the Governor killed Merle, yet he states it as a known fact.

It was sloppy writing. It’s not the first time slopping writing has made its way onto The Walking Dead and the way they are going through showrunners, I doubt it will be the last.

When the Governor killed his own people after they fled the prison, it was unexpected and shocking, mostly because the series had been building all season towards a final confrontation between Rick and Governor. When the Governor slaughtered his own people, it became clear there would be no final confrontation. A Governor without people to govern is no Governor at all, he’s just a psychopathic jerk with an eye patch.

The episode’s one redeeming thing was the death of Andrea. If there was a true villain in season three, it was Andrea. She tried to play both sides and a lot of people died because if it.

The most absurd thing about the episode was the last scene. Rick and his crew brought Woodbury’s remaining people, the children and the elderly, people who could not serve as soldiers in the Governor’s attacking army, back to the awful prison to live. Why anyone would choose to live in the prison when they could instead live in Woodbury without the Governor is more than a little ridiculous.

Woodbury is a much nicer place than the prison, why didn’t anyone point this out?

The only explanation for this stupid decision was because it’s cheaper to shoot the show in the prison than Woodbury. The prison is a giant set created just for the show. The town of Woodbury is a real town, Senoia, with real people. The production costs are substantially higher to shoot the show in a real town than they are on a fake prison set. That’s why everyone will be living in the prison, because it’s cheaper.

Season four of The Walking Dead begins sometime in October. If it’s anything like season three, I can’t say I’m looking forward to it. In fact, I think I’m done with The Walking Dead. I was done with the comic with issue #100 and I think I’m done with the TV show now too.

Why did Morgan loose consciousness?

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Last Sunday’s episode of The Walking Dead, entitled Clear, was a doozy. It featured of Morgan, the man who saved Rick after he left the hospital. He hasn’t been seen on the show since the pilot episode,

It was a great episode. It really was. With that said, there was something in the episode I didn’t like or understand. When Carl shot Morgan, why did he lose consciousness? I don’t get it. He was wearing body armor that prevented the bullet from doing any more damage than causing a nasty bruise, so why was he knocked out?

Since he was wearing a helmet, I find it hard to believe he hit his head on the ground.

Not only did he get knocked out, he stayed out for a long time. He remained unconscious while being carried upstairs and placed on his cot. He didn’t wake up for quite a while.

Stuff like this bothers me. I spent too much time wondering why Morgan would lose consciousness from getting shot in the torso protected by body armor. It made no sense and it was distracting.

Since when are teenage girls into Tom Waits?

BethTVfaceLast night’s episode of The Walking Dead ended with Beth Greene, the 17-year-old daughter of Hershel and sister of Maggie, singing an impromptu, a cappella version of Tom Waits’ 1999 song Hold On. How many teenage girls can sing 14-year-old Tom Waits songs word-for-word? It’s one thing to believe the world has been devastated by a plague that caused the dead to rise and then feed on the living like it’s Friday night at the Hagerstown Golden Corral, it’s quit another to believe that a shy, religious girl like Beth can belt out a Tom Waits song without missing a single word.

Personally, I’d find it hard to believe a kid like Beth even knew who Tom Waits was. Justin Bieber, sure. Tom Waits, no.

Emily Kinney, the actress that plays Beth, is a singer-songwriter who released an album in 2011 entitled, Blue Toothbrush. If Kinney is going to sing on The Walking Dead, it should be something more aligned with her character, not a Tom Waits song. What’s next, is Carl going to start reciting lines from Shakespeare because Chandler Riggs, the actor who plays him, was in a child production of Hamlet?

I sure hope not.

‘The Walking Dead’ season three premiere draws 10.9 million viewers

It turns out people like completing out their weekend by watching humans take on the zombie Apocalypse. Last night’s season three premiere of The Walking Dead drew 10.9 million viewers. That’s more viewers that any drama in basic cable (not to be confused with complex cable) history. Last night’s episode was watched by twice as many viewers as last season’s premiere. What makes that even more impressive is the fact that Dish, the nation’s second largest satellite TV provider, doesn’t even carry AMC, the channel that features The Walking Dead.

I like The Walking Dead, but I didn’t care for last night’s episode too much. I’d preface the following with a spoiler warning, but considering the ratings from last night’s premiere, I’m going to just assume that everyone who wanted to watch the episode, already watched it.

My problem with last night’s episode was what they did to Hershel, played by Scott Wilson. Even though Hershel is old and the closest thing they have to do a doctor, Dictator Rick took him along on the mission to clear out the prison of walkers, also known as zombies. Why wasn’t Hershel left back in relativity safety with the women and children? Because it would seem the writers wanted Hershel to get bit in the leg by a walker so that Rick could then whack his leg off with a dull hand ax, that’s why.

The whole thing just seemed stupid and more than a little silly.

I don’t see what possible reason Rick had for dragging Hershel along on the prison clearing mission. It just didn’t make any sense. Though Hershel is technically really only a veterinarian, his human doctoring skills are quite good. After all, he saved Rick’s son Carl’s life by performing surgery on him. Considering the fact that Rick’s wife Lori is about to have a baby and will undoubtedly be in need of Hershel’s medical skills, he would want to keep him nice and safe and out of harm’s reach. That would mean not going on the prison clearing mission.

And why even go into the prison to kill the zombies? All they needed to do was open the doors and create a bottle-neck for the zombies to go through. Commandant Rick and his people could then re-kill them safely, efficiently, and on their terms. Going into a dark, mysterious prison looking for the undead seems unnecessary, dangerous, and a lot of work.

Too much work in fact. And when you are living off owl sushi and canned dog food, it’s not a bad idea to conserve calories when you can.