Bent Corner

Rich Johnson writes in this week’s Lying In The Gutters column about the recent Marvel Comics “One More Day” debacle and has some sage advice for anyone wanting to send a message to the one time “House of Ideas”.

But before LITG readers leave all their Marvel books in droves… consider “Spider-Girl.” A monthly title published by Marvel featuring Peter Parker and Mary Jane, married, and even their little May Parker swinging around. If you really want a “screw you Joe” message, then sending this book up the ratings, written by a previous Editor-In-Chief to boot, would really do the trick. I understand some retailers have seen a small upswing for that book.

Joe Quesada uses the “Spider-Girl” example in his CBR interview, in a fairly dismissive and sarcastic fashion. But it’ll need a drop in Spider-Man sales and a bigger upswing in “Spider-Girl” before anyone will take any notice.

I remember reading Quesada’s mention of “Spider-Girl” and thinking that it was strange for the Editor-In-Chef of Marvel Comics to kind of dump on a Marvel comic. Then again, Quesada will be Quesada.

The next available issue of “Spider-Girl” (issue 16) comes out January 16. It’s a one-shot written by Tom DeFalco with pencils by Ron Frenz.

Why not pick up a copy or two?

The UN has announced that it is joining forces with comic book publisher Marvel Comics. Together, they will publish a special comic featuring Spider-Man fighting alongside UN aid workers and UN peacekeepers. Marvel creators are supposedly working on the book for free. They aim to publish one million copies to distribute to American school children. Something tells me that it might very well be the first comic book many of these children will read. Kids don’t read comics unless it’s Japanese manga.

Let’s hope it doesn’t suck.

Of course former US envoy to the UN and all around douche bag John Bolton called it an “act of desperation”. He said that the UN should concentrate on improving its overall performance and that putting Spider-Man in a special UN funny book wasn’t going to change anything. Did he know that Spider-Man had struck a deal with Mephisto (Satan) making him single? Maybe Bolton only thought the UN publishing a special Spider-Man comic was a waste of time when Spider-Man was in a loving and committed marriage.

Speaking of of which, has anyone ever seen John Bolton and Mephisto at the same time? I never noticed this before, but these two cats look and act an awful lot alike. If I didn’t know better, I would think perhaps that they are the same person. The only difference of course is that I’ve never seen Bolton wear a red cape and I’ve never seen Mephisto wear one of those retarded looking walrus mustaches. Every time I see John Bolton, I expect someone is about to toss him a raw fish as some time of reward. Then again, he’s never really done much of anything worth rewarding.

Other then that, they are dead ringers for one another.

Comic Book Resources continues with part 3 of a 5-part interview with Marvel Editor-In-Chief Joe Quesada concerning the recent storyline involving Spider-Man. Quesada has long made it known that he believes having Peter Parker/Spider-Man married to Mary Jane Watson was a big mistake. He believes that it somehow curtails good story telling by having the character married. Or he thinks that kids can’t relate to a married character. It’s hard to keep track of the many reasons Quesada has for not wanting Spider-Man married.

Quesada’s reasons seem to change a lot.

If the belief that Spider-Man must be a single to craft interesting stories seems silly, the method Quesada uses to achieve this objective seems absolutely insane - Spider-Man makes a deal with the Devil that will save his elderly aunt from dying if he allows the Devil to not only magically undue his marriage, but to make everyone magically forget that they were even married. As though the marriage never happened. Oh, and the Devil also agrees to make everyone magically forget that Peter Parker is Spider-Man. A fact everyone knows ever since he removed his mask on national television and announced that he was Peter Parker (see CIVIL WAR #2).

Needless to say, fans have been critical of this magical storyline.

In the Comic Book Resources interview, Quesada is asked why he didn’t just have Peter and Mary Jane get a divorce. It’s a good question. Here is Quesada’s reply:

Sure, that would have been a very easy solution. However, how would a parent feel when they had to explain to their kid that Spider-Man just got divorced from his wife? How would that headline read across the AP or on USA today? The same can be said with an annulment. Sure, divorce is a reality of life, but Peter Parker and Spider-Man are not the types of characters that would do that. Spider-Man is a worldwide icon and is considered one of the good guys, like Superman.

Not the type of characters that would do that? What is that supposed to mean? I’m sure the people that have gone through a divorce would like to know. Speaking as just such a person, I certainly would like to know.

Someone can’t be considered a good guy if they have been divorced? This hits a nerve with me. Normally one only finds this type of ignorant bigotry at an evangelical church, not in a comic book.

So Peter Parker isn’t the type of character to get a divorce, but he is the type character to enter into a magical arraignment with the Devil? The inference is that it’s better to strike a deal with Satan then it is to get divorced. Either way Peter is breaking his marriage vows. One requires him to enter into an unholy pact with Satan, the other requires him to sign a bunch of paperwork and pay a lawyer.

Joe Quesada picks option number one evidently because it makes him a better person.

Quesada claims parents would have had a hard time explaining Spider-Man getting a divorce. Imagine how hard it will be for them to put a positive spin on Spider-Man entering into an agreement with Satan.

How is that preferable to getting a divorce?

Writer J. Michael Straczynski
Pencils: Joe Quesada
Inker: Danny Miki
Colorist: Richard Isanove

This book turned out not to be nearly has bad as I thought it was going to be. My expectations were extremely low. The Internet told me what was supposed to happen in this story. Plus, the cover looks remarkably like a cover of Wizard magazine. I can’t help but think that’s a bad sign.

It really wasn’t that mad. I still don’t agree with the path this story is taking the Spider-Man franchise. I’ve already explained why that is. Straczynski’s writing is up to it’s usual greatness and Quesada certainly knows what to do with the pointy end of a pencil.

This comic cost a whole $3.99 and the story was over before I even hit the staples. The rest of the book contained a long and detailed bio on Mephisto (Satan). Stuff you wont find in the Bible. It also contains a reprint of THE SILVER SURFER #3. It’s the first appearance of the Mephisto.

It wasn’t that bad.

I don’t normally read Spider-Man comics. That doesn’t mean I don’t recognize the character as one of the most popular characters that Marvel Comics has. He’s a very popular character. Just not with me.

I was surprised to read on the Interents that Marvel Comics is going to do a major change to the character. Spider-Man, aka Peter Parker is married to his high school sweet heart Mary Jane. Marvel’s Editor-in-Chief Joe Quesada has never liked the fact that Peter Parker was married. He supposedly thinks it makes the character non-relatable to the younger readers.

Marvel Comics has younger readers? And to think I thought the kids were reading creepy Japanese manga where everyone has the really big eyes.

So Joe Quesada thinks Spider-Man being married makes youthful readers less inclined to relate to him? Never mind the fact that he can shoot web goo from his wrists and that he has superhuman strength and dexterity. It’s the whole “married thing” that confuses the youngsters and makes it so they can’t relate to him.

The most retarded thing about this whole story is how they are going to make him non-married. Instead of just having him divorce Mary Jane, they are going to place him in a situation where his Aunt May is going to die. The Devil (seriously, the Devil) makes a deal with Spider-Man: The Devil will save Aunt May if he agrees that his relationship and his marriage with Mary Jane will have never happened. Aunt May will live, but Peter and Mary Jane will not only not be married, they will have no memories of even knowing each other.

That has got to be the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard of.

Who in their right mind would give up the love of their life just so their enfeebled old aunt can defy nature and go on living? Aunt May has lived a full life. It’s time for her to go join Uncle Ben.

Joe Quesada must really hate being married. If this even sounds slightly plausible to him, his wife is in trouble.

I’m willing to bet the TV in Joe Quesada’s bathroom that this has less to do with appealing to youthful readers and more to do with getting publicity in the mainstream press. I think Quesada is addicted to seeing his name in the USA TODAY.

There’s been an uproar on some comic book blogs over the fact that Wizard has decided to crown itself the #1 men’s pop culture magazine. The idea is that by Wizard declaring themselves to be a men’s magazine, they are purposely and unnecessarily going out of their way to exclude female comic book fans.

I don’t see why that is such a bad thing. To be excluded from the intended demographic of this particular magazine can only be looked at as something positive. To be excluded from Wizard is a good thing.

I can’t imagine why anyone - man or woman - would want to read Wizard. Anything that can be learned from the pages of Wizard could have been learned months ago online on Newsarama or Comic Book Resources. When was the last time something broke in Wizard? It was the New York Post and not Wizard that broke the story that Spider-Man was going to take his mask off in CIVIL WAR #2. It was the New York Daily News that broke the story that Captain America was going to be killed in CAPTAIN AMERICA #25.

It wasn’t Wizard magazine that broke these stories.

Wizard has become irrelevant and outdated. I get my comic book news and information from sources that update content on a minute by minute basis, not on a month to month basis like Wizard. That’s not to say there wasn’t a time for a monthly comic book magazine that could be purchased at any grocery store. That time has simply passed.

Sometimes I wonder if the only people still reading Wizard are female comic book fans looking for something that offends their feminist sensibilities. One has to look no further then to the website When Fan Girls Attack to see this strange phenomenon in action. Why else would they go out of their way to read something they know they’re going to find offensive?

If Wizard is in fact the #1 men’s pop culture magazine, whatever magazine came in at #2 must be really bad.