Bent Corner

I saw this commercial last night while watching Monday Night Football. I don’t get it. I guess it’s to promote the NFL football video game Madden 09. The only problem is that the last thing I feel like doing after watching this commercial is to play Madden 09.

I want to take the person featured in this commercial (code name “Secret”) and beat him over the head with his own shoe.

This guy has got to be the most obnoxious punk I think I’ve ever seen. And I’ve seen quite a few obnoxious punks in my lifetime. He is supposedly the world’s best Madden player. This guy. This guy who appears to be humping the ground. This guy that looks like he is wearing his dad’s red jersey. This guy that makes weird faces at his opponent.

Why would anyone from either Sony (Playstation 3) or EA Sports (Madden 09) want this spot to air on the TV to promote their products?

All is now well in the universe.  Art Monk was finally inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame in Canton, Ohio yesterday.  There’s a lot in life I just simply don’t understand.  How it took Art Monk this long to be inducted into Canton is a mystery.

If I was in any way connected to the Pro Football Hall of Fame, I’d be embarrassed that it took eight tries for Art Monk to make it in.  Eight tries.

Even though he played primarily on run happy Washington Redskins Joe Gibbs offenses, he was still able to put together some impressive career statistics.  He comes in at 7th on the all-time reception list with 940 catches and 12th on the all-time receiving yards with 12,721 yards.

The man simply played the game the way it ought to be played.  He wasn’t flashy.  He didn’t do anything to draw unnecessary attention to himself.  The reason you don’t remember what any of his touchdown dances looked like is because he didn’t do any.  He just made plays.

Imagine that.

WTMJ-TV Channel 4 in Milwaukee is reporting that the Green Bay Packers offered Brett Favre $20 million paid out over the next 10 years to stay retired. Could they know something that the rest of us don’t? I think most people believed that the reason Brett Favre wanted to un-retire and come back and play quarterback in the NFL was because he still had the burning desire to compete.

What if he just needs the money?

It seems to me that if a guy just wants to play, offering him money to sit at home and watch Judge Judy would be a complete waste of time. With that said, the Green Bay Packers thought it was worth making the offer.

I would think with all of the commercial endorsements Brett Favre does, money wouldn’t be a problem. Unless of course being the pitchman for heartburn medication and blue jeans sold at Wal-Mart doesn’t pay a lot.

Report: Packers offer Favre $20 million to stay home (Milwaukee Journal Sentinal)

I don’t know what Pittsburgh Steelers safety Troy Polamalu has been doing during the off-season, but he needs to stop doing it.  Though I commend him for finally getting a haircut, he has really let himself go.

How funny would it be if the rumors were true and Brett Favre was the starting quarterback for the Minnesota Vikings the night they retire his number?

Comedy gold!

It looks as though the all-time leader in interceptions thrown has second thoughts about being retired.  Perhaps he found out that nowhere else other then in the training rooms of the NFL do they hand out Vicodin pills like Pez candy. The four letter network is reporting that Favre sent a letter via overnight mail to the Green Bay Packers asking for his unconditional contractual release.

The hilarity that will ensue as a result of this is mind boggling.  If Favre were to sign with the Minnesota Vikings or the Chicago Bears, fat guys all across Wisconsin that wear a big chunk of foam rubber cheese on their head and name their first born son “Lombardi” will likely have strokes.

Looks like Dan Patrick has got himself a new job.  From the New York Times:

Dan Patrick, who left ESPN last year to create his own syndicated radio program and write a column for Sports Illustrated, will join NBC Sports where he will be reunited with Keith Olbermann to call the NFL highlights on “Football Night in America.” NBC is scheduled to make the announcement at 2 p.m. Eastern.

NBC is looking to recreate the chemistry and quirky humor that Patrick and Olbermann demonstrated when they were co-anchors on ESPN’s “SportsCenter,” which they dubbed “The Big Show.” Olbermann joined “Football Night” last year, but is best known now as the host of MSNBC’s nightly “Countdown” program.

Recreate the chemistry?  I’d argue that any chemistry the two co-hosts had was before people realized Olbermann could be such a narcissistic, misogynistic douche bag.  He didn’t have any of his politically polarizing “Special Comments” back when he was on ESPN.  I’m not sure adding Patrick to the mix is going to help.  Olbermann is clearly not the same person he was in during this stint at ESPN.

Not that I really understand the attraction of NFL football on Sunday night.  I don’t get to watch NFL football on Sunday night.  I live on the east coast and I work for a living.  I can’t stay up till midnight on a Sunday night to watch football.

Indianapolis Colts wide receiver Marvin Harrison is under investigation in his hometown of Philadelphia in a shooting that took place earlier this week. From ESPN:

The source said the alleged victim came into the bar, Playmakers, around 5 p.m. and engaged in an argument with Harrison, who was at the bar. The victim then left the bar, heading to his car, with Harrison following. Gunfire broke out, the victim was hit in the hand, and a young girl was slightly injured by flying glass from a car that apparently was hit by a bullet.

Police came to scene, but the victim did not identify a shooter. On Wednesday, according to the source, ballistic tests showed that the gun that had fired the shots was a custom-made Belgian weapon, and police determined that Harrison owned such a gun. A source told ESPN.com’s John Clayton that the gun is registered.

Police then went to a Philadelphia car wash owned by Harrison to question him about the gun. Harrison admitted owning such a weapon, but claimed it never left his suburban Philadelphia home.

However, the source said the gun was discovered in a bucket at the car wash, and tests showed that it had fired seven bullets that matched those found at the scene.

What an idiot. I don’t know what’s more dumb - shooting a guy with lots and lots of people around to witness the event or shooting a guy with an expensive and exotic handgun that almost nobody else other then a spoiled professional athlete could afford.

Why does he even feel the need to shoot somebody? Hasn’t he read coach Tony Dungy’s book, “Quiet Strength: The Principles, Practices, & Priorities of a Winning Life.” I haven’t gotten around to reading it myself, but I’m pretty sure it doesn’t recommend shooting people with your custom-made Belgian handgun.

Then again, maybe it does.

A while back I hypothesized that NFL swag incorrectly identifying the New England Patriots as the XLII Superbowl champs would end up in a village in Africa. As it turns out, I was actually right — sort of. It turned out not to be a village in Africa, but in Nicaragua.

Shirts and caps proclaiming the victory of the New England Patriots — when the American football team actually lost the latest Super Bowl — have ended up in the hands of poor Nicaraguan children.

That’s not to say some of this swag won’t turn up in Africa. I’m sure there is enough wrong swag for most of the third world. The Patriots were more or less crowned the Superbowl champs before the game was even played.