Japanese man has cat in campaign posters

Satoshi Shima is running for elected office in Japan and for some fantastic reason, has featured a beautiful white cat in some of his campaign posters.

His posters seem to follow the common-uncommon-rare format found in Magic The Gathering and other collectible card games. The normal, common poster shows Mr. Shimo without a cat. Then, there’s a less than common poster with the cat in the lower right corner, in scale with Mr. Shima. Then, there’s a rare version featuring the cat in place of Mr. Shima, while Mr. Shima is shown in the lower right at a smaller scale than the cat.

I of course am a fan of the rare version.

Too bad I can’t vote for Satoshi Shima. Maybe I’ll write his name in instead of the non-choices have waiting for me this November. I don’t know what Mr. Shima stands for, but I know he’s better than Hillary Clinton or Donald Trump. I wish there was a way to get my hands on one of these. Maybe an Etsy artisan will rip off the image and start selling them.

Scarlet Johansson in ‘Ghost in the Shell’

Paramount and Dreamworks Pictures released the first image from the upcoming movie Ghost in the Shell. It’s a live-action version of the popular anime of the same name. The image shows Scarlet Johansson in the starring role of cyborg Major Kusanagi.

In the anime, Major Kusanagi is Japanese. Scarlet Johansson is not Japanese. Some people are bothered by this fact.

The director on the film is Rupert Sanders. He’s the hack who directed Snow White and the Huntsman, a truly awful movie. It featured Kristen Stewart in the title role and Charlize Theron as the Evil Queen. The movie didn’t work for all sorts of reasons, but one of the most glaring issues in the film was the casting. Snow White is the most beautiful woman in all the land. This gets her in all sorts of trouble with the Evil Queen, who used to be the most beautiful woman in all the land.

In what universe is Kristen Stewart more beautiful than Charlize Theron?

Kristen Stewart always has a look on her face like she just smelled Adam Carolla’s socks after some vigorous unicycling. Charlize Theron looks like Charlize Theron. At no time in the film was Kristen Stewart made to look more attractive or Charlize Theron made to look less attractive. We know Charlize Theron can be made less attractive.

It turned out Rupert Sanders was fornicating with Kristen Stewart during production of the film, so his judgment was probably… clouded.

Getting back to Scarlet Johansson playing Major Kusanagi. I don’t care that she’s not Asian. To me, it’s not a big deal. When the live-action movie based on Attack on Titan was released with an all Asian cast, I don’t remember anyone complaining. In the anime version, the characters, all except one, are western.

Attack on Titan
Attack on Titan

I don’t think this movie should even be made. The original anime is a classic. Not everything needs a movie version. In fact, most things don’t.

Hello Kitty's parents sound like a couple of jerks

It turns out that Hello Kitty, the iconic character created 40 years ago by the Japanese company Sanrio, is not a cat, but a human girl. She’s also not Japanese, she’s British. Who know? Christine R. Yano, anthropologist from the University of Hawaii and author of Pink Globalization: Hello Kitty’s Trek across the Pacific, that’s who.

According to Yano, Hello Kitty is a British girl who just happens to look like a lot like a cat. Her real name is Kitty White. Her parents sound like a couple of jerks. They have a daughter with birth defects so severe, that it makes her seem feline, and they respond by naming her Kitty. They look at their infant daughter and see a newborn baby with ears on top of her head and whiskers jutting from her face, and they give her a name that is a synonym for a cat.

What a couple of passive-aggressive assholes.

I don’t know who Hello Kitty’s parents are, but I hate them with the intensity of a thousand suns. They obviously made a lot of money off their daughter’s malformations. They should have taken some of that money and used it to take Hello Kitty to medical specialists. British children should have bad teeth, not look like the family pet.