Bent Corner

Today is Independence Day. The day in history the original 13 colonies declared their independence from mean ole England and became a real life country.  Let freedom ring.

I must say, out of all of the countries that broke away from England, the United States has done awfully well for itself.  Have you seen Rhodesia Zimbabwe lately?  Ouch.

Sheri and I will be celebrating the holiday by not working.  We were going to go to a community yard sale that takes place here in Hagerstown every Fourth of July, the Mile Long Yard Sale, but it looks like it’s going to rain.

MSNBC being the fine news organization that it is is showing back-to-back episodes of Dateline: To Catch a Predator. It’s where they trick some dumb pervert online into thinking he is chatting with a child about sex and they get him to come to what he thinks is the child’s house.  In reality, it’s a home rigged with cameras, cops, and NBC’s smarmy Chris Hanson.  What else would you expect them to do today, cover the news? I watched a segment earlier and I could swear I saw the predator at a Wizard World Philly.  I would switch over to Fox News, but they would try to turn me into a Republican, and I don’t want that to happen.

Today is Independence Day. The day we Americans celebrate the supposed birth of our country. It’s the day our ancestors declared their independence from Great Britain.

As though that is something actually worth celebrating. I can think of worse things then being a British citizen.

I sometimes wonder how different my life would be if Maryland was still a colony of Great Britain. How different would my life be if I was a British citizen? Do I as an American enjoy any rights or privileges that I would not enjoy if I was British?

I don’t think so.

I’m not overly convinced that my life would be all that bad if our nation’s forefathers hadn’t declared their independence from England. If they had simply paid their taxes and not caused a ruckus. For guys that supposedly loved freedom so much, they certainly had a funny way of showing it. The phrase, “All men are created equal” was probably written with ink and paper fetched by a slave.

I’ve been to England. It’s a nice place. It’s not the type of place that makes me want to celebrate because I am independent from it. I can think of at least 12 countries off the top of my head that I would be thankful not to be part of. England is not one of those countries. In fact if I had to choose a country to live in other then the United States, my list would start and end with England.

In fact, I would choose to live in England even over many of the states in my own country. Have you ever been to Texas? How about Montana? I’d take England in a heartbeat.

Can you really blame me? Look at what Great Britain has given us. The Beatles and Elton John. Alan Moore and the Rolling Stones. The Who and Harry Potter. The Lord of the Rings and Led Zeppelin. The Clash and Ricky Gervase. Doctor Who and William Shakespeare. Monty Python and James Bond. Rich Johnson and Mary Poppins. David Bowie and Neil Gaiman. The list is really quite endless.

Have you ever eaten a scone? They are really very delicious. Have you tried putting malt vinegar on your fries? Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it.

In London, you are allowed to openly drink a beer while riding in the underground subway system. A beer that actually tastes good I might add. In nearby Washington D.C., you can be arrested for simply chewing a piece of candy.

Don’t get me wrong. There are many things I love about this country. For all of the things wrong with it, there are many good things too. I just don’t see why we have to make such a big deal celebrating our independence from England. To actually set off fireworks and throw festive get-togethers with friends and family. To eat potato salad, watermelon, and burnt hot dogs like there is no tomorrow. If I was from the England I think I would be a little offended at our level of jubilation. It strikes me as being more then just a little rude, Then again, maybe the English are just thankful that so many of our fellow Americans are not longer contaminating their gene pool.