Donald Trump can’t swim?

Like Most Americans, I get my news not from newspapers or television, but from Twitter. Last night I noticed the hashtag #TrumpCantSwim was trending. If I’m reading it right, it indicates that Donald Trump can’t swim.

Could this be true? Does Donald Trump not know how to swim?

Donald Trump can't swim? - Bent CornerEarth is a water planet. Around 71% of the Earth’s surface is covered with water. How can someone live on such a planet for 70 years and not know how to swim? Has he never been thrown into a swimming pool? Donald Trump strikes me as the kind of guy people like to throw into a swimming pool.

What do they teach at Wharton? There’s even a fish in the school’s crest.

I don’t have much patience for people who’ve spent their entire life on planet Earth and don’t know how to swim. I’m old-school when it comes to that. If you call a water planet home, you’d better know how to swim.

If this is true, and I’m sure it is, or it wouldn’t be a hashtag on Twitter, Donald Trump needs to take a break from going around the country and saying stupid things and get himself over to a YMCA to learn to swim. It’s easy. Even a child can do it.

An Earth child that is, a warm-blooded child born on a planet where 71% of the surface is covered with water.

I’m not saying Donald Trump wasn’t born on Earth, that he was born on a far off desert planet called home by a race of advanced lizard people, but reading on Twitter that he doesn’t know how to swim does make me want to see his long-form birth certificate.

His Earth birth certificate.

Donald Trump can't swim? - Bent Corner
Is this the real Donald Trump?

 

I simply choose not to play

I give up. I am done with the 2016 Presidental election. I have looked extensively at the two choices I have to vote for and I’ve found both candidates to be extremely lacking and wanting. No matter who wins this November, I firmly believe they will turn out to be the worst president in my lifetime.

There are issues in this election that are important to me. The problem is, for every one issue a candidate has that I agree with, there seem to be six others I do not agree with. This is the inherent problem with a two-party system of politics. This is why nearly every other democracy in the industrialized world does not have a two-party political system.

This is why most Americans do not vote.

PlayersHandbookThanks, but no thanks. I refuse to continue to play this retarded game of electoral Sophie’s Choice. Let someone else choose the lesser of two evils. Choosing the lesser of two evils still requires a person to pick evil. If I never picked an evil player character in Dungeons & Dragons, why would I choose to do it in real life? If I was told by a dungeon master that I had to pick an evil character to play in his or her game, I would simply not play.

That is what I am doing now. I am choosing not to play.

Japanese man has cat in campaign posters

Satoshi Shima is running for elected office in Japan and for some fantastic reason, has featured a beautiful white cat in some of his campaign posters.

His posters seem to follow the common-uncommon-rare format found in Magic The Gathering and other collectible card games. The normal, common poster shows Mr. Shimo without a cat. Then, there’s a less than common poster with the cat in the lower right corner, in scale with Mr. Shima. Then, there’s a rare version featuring the cat in place of Mr. Shima, while Mr. Shima is shown in the lower right at a smaller scale than the cat.

I of course am a fan of the rare version.

Too bad I can’t vote for Satoshi Shima. Maybe I’ll write his name in instead of the non-choices have waiting for me this November. I don’t know what Mr. Shima stands for, but I know he’s better than Hillary Clinton or Donald Trump. I wish there was a way to get my hands on one of these. Maybe an Etsy artisan will rip off the image and start selling them.