January 1, 2014 by Rick Rottman
Happy New Year 2014
Today is New Years Day, the first day of the new year. For some unknown reason, not only it today the first day of the year, it’s also the first federal holiday of the year. Starting off your year by declaring the first day to be a holiday because, well, it’s the first day of the year, seems like a silly idea. Since I got the day off with pay, I’m not going to complain or make fun of it.
Hagerstown kicked off the New Year last night with a special giant paper donut dropping ceremony at the Public Square in downtown Hagerstown. It was just like the dropping of the ball in Times Square in New York, except it wasn’t. In New York, they drop the ball at the stroke of midnight, commemorating the passage from one year to the next. In Hagerstown, they dropped the giant donut at 7 p.m. because, well, I don’t really know why.
We didn’t even know about it until we had the misfortune of driving through downtown last night, a half hour before it was to commence. There were hundreds of people packed into the Public Square and police were directing traffic. When I saw the crowd and the giant paper donut, I assumed people got there over five hours early in the 30 degree weather to witness the event. That, or they thought the giant paper donut was real.
Way to remind everyone that Hagerstown is full of fat people by using a giant donut as a symbol. It looks like the people are worshipping the giant donut. For all I know, maybe they were. It reminds me the people who lived underground and worshipped the nuclear bomb in Beneath the Planet of the Apes, only not as weird.