Bruce Jenner knew she was a woman since she was five

Bruce Jenner, former Olympic champion and current reality TV star, reportedly told her family that she has known she was a woman since she was five years old.

This means, among other things, that when she competed in the 1976 Summer Olympics, she should have competed as a woman, not a man. Jenner won the gold in the men’s decathlon. As a very wise straight white man once pointed out, if you’re a straight white male, you’re going through life at the lowest difficulty setting there is. Jenner was pretending to be something she was not, a straight white male. She was getting an easier path because of it. That’s not fair. Jenner should be striped of her medal and it should be awarded to the man who came in second place, Guido Kratschmer of Germany.

Unless Kratschmer is now a woman too. If that’s the case, someone will have to go to Wikipedia and figure out who came in third place in the men’s decathlon and give him the gold medal.

It’s strange that she didn’t let the fact that she was a woman stop her from marrying other women, seemingly straight women, three separate times. Being a woman also didn’t stop her from fathering six children. I’d think that when you realize you’re a woman at age five, you should probably refrain from fathering multiple children.

It’s not very ladylike.

Statue of Hitler kneeling in prayer placed in former Warsaw Jewish ghetto

Italian artist Maurizio Cattelan created a statue of Adolf Hitler kneeling in prayer and then placed the statue in the middle of a former Jewish ghetto in Warsaw, Poland. The ghetto at one time was the home of 254,000 Jews as they awaited transportation to the Treblinka death camp. To say that some people have a problem with this being placed in such a historically significant site is an understatement.

Can anyone really blame them?

The statue is creepy. The fact that it was placed in a former Warsaw Jewish ghetto just seems unnecessarily rude. Art at times can be provocative, but this just seems more like trolling.

Rabid skunk bites woman at Jimmy Buffett theme restaurant

A woman was at Cheeseburger in Paradise, a Jimmy Buffett-inspired theme restaurant in southern Maryland, eating lunch when a skunk walked into the establishment and bit her.

The skunk was captured and then shot in the restaurant’s parking lot. The skunk’s brain was tested and it was confirmed that it had rabies. You know who else needs to have their brain tested? Anyone that would eat at a Jimmy Buffett-inspired theme restaurant. The only thing I can think of worse than being bit by a rabid skunk is having to eat at a Cheeseburger in Paradise, listen to the music of Jimmy Buffett, or be around people who are fans of Jimmy Buffett.

I hate Jimmy Buffett. I always have, I always will.

Someone supposedly paints house like an American flag in protest of homeowners association

There’s a photo that’s been appearing in my news feed on Facebook. Quite a few of my Facebook friends have been posting it. It shows a house painted like an American flag.

This is what appears in the Facebook post:

This man was told by his Homeowners Association that he couldn’t fly the American Flag in his yard. Click like if you think his response is a #win!

I’m not buying it. Sure, I believe someone really painted their house to look like an American flag, I just don’t believe they did it in protest towards their homeowners association.

For one thing, the home appears to be quite old. Homeowners associations exist almost exclusively in newer, planned neighborhoods. It wouldn’t surprise me if the home in the photo is one-hundred years old. I imagine getting people who live in older homes to retroactively join a homeowners association would be a lot like herding cats.

Secondly, it’s illegal for a homeowners association to bar someone from displaying the American flag. The federal Freedom to Display the American Flag Act of 2005, makes it illegal for a homeowners association to restrict homeowners from displaying the American flag on their property.

It’s literally a federal offense for a homeowners association to restrict flying the American flag.

Lastly, homeowners associations generally always have restrictions on what color or colors you can paint your house. If they have one rule, it’s that. The idea that a homeowners association would forbid someone from flying the American flag, but allow someone to paint their home like a flag, is absurd. It was made-up by someone who has never lived in a neighborhood governed by a homeowners association.

I see something like this on Facebook and wonder how anyone could believe it.

UPDATE: Thanks to commentator Erin for posting a link to the real story behind this paint job. It had nothing to do with a homeowners association and flying the American flag and instead had everything to do with a guy acting like a jerk towards the local historical society.

The National Enquirer publishes photos of Whitney Houston in casket

The National Enquirer, the grocery store check-out newspaper of record, has photos of Whitney Houston in her coffin. The picture was taken at a funeral home in New Jersey. One of the images graces this week’s cover.

Some are pretending to be outraged by this. They say that the picture is in bad taste and crosses a line, whatever that means. Of course it’s in bad taste. It’s a photo of a dead body in a golden casket. The photo’s not what’s in bad taste, it’s the act of dressing up a corpse and making a spectacle of it that’s in bad taste. It’s morbid and tacky.

A corpse is something to be disposed of, not something to decorate and display like an expensive dress-up doll.

This isn’t the first time the National Enquirer has done something like this. They posted a similar picture when Elvis Presley died and it sold about a bazillion copies. They also posted a picture of Michael Jackson in a casket.

When I die, I want to be placed in a cardboard box and shoved in an incinerator, like a frozen hamburger in the broiler at Burger King.