As if there was any doubt that ESPN columnist Bill Simmons is a raging douche with an exaggerated idea of his own importance, he attempts to remove all doubt by writing about a recent speeding ticket he failed to get out. The blog Kissing Suzy Kolber posted a portion of the article.
From Kissing Suzy Kolber:
Seattle loves me for defending its Sonics after Clay Bennett hijacked them and moved them elsewhere. If there was ever a place I could get out of a speeding ticket, it’s Seattle. Or so I thought.
Anyway, I shot out of Seattle like a bat out of hell. We were weaving between lanes and going about 90. Twenty minutes into the drive, still in the outskirts of Seattle, we were arguing about why navigation systems don’t come with different voices — for example, we should be able to have Morgan Freeman be our nav narrator or, even better, Sam Jackson as Jules in “Pulp Fiction” (”I told you to take a motherf—ing right, you dumbass!) — and I stopped paying attention to things like “Is there a cop car behind me?” Which there was. He pulled us over, walked over to my driver’s side and somewhat angrily asked why I was going so fast. I explained that we were trying to get to Portland and apologized for my speed. He asked for my license and registration. Then we had this exchange:
Me (big smile): “Were you a big Sonics fan? Because-”
Him (frowns): “No.”
And he walked away with my license.
OK, first of all, “we” weren’t weaving between the lanes like a bat out of hell, he was the one driving like a dick. I have nothing against people driving fast. I’ve been know to drive fast on occasion. The problem I have with drivers like Simmons is the weaving in and out of lanes. Drivers like him make the road more dangerous than it needs to be. Though I may on occasion drive fast, I don’t weave in and out of lanes. I drive with traffic like a regular person.
He honestly thinks people know who he is?
I don’t know who the cop was that refused to allow Simmons to get out of his ticket, but he’s an American hero.
tony
/ November 23, 2009ANYONE who drives like a douchebag deserves what they get, ticket, driving ban, retaking your drivers test, you name it.
You don’t like the traffic laws then don’t drive. Nice and simple.