I just got done reading Amazons Attack #6. In hindsight, I wish I’d done something more constructive with my time and money. Like maybe reading old phone books from cities I have never been to.
I hate to say that Amazons Attack sucked because the artwork was really very good. The artist for this series was Pete Woods and the writer was Will Pfeifer. It would be easy to blame how bad this series was on Will Pfeifer. I normally blame the writer when I read a comic I don’t like. I don’t feel that I can do that in this particular case. Since this is one of those Major Comic Book Events™, its not like Pfeifer had many choices in how this thing ends. That is the main problem I had with this book. The ending.
I didn’t understand it.
The book ends with the Goddess Athena on Mount Olympus (?) with many of the Greek gods (??) chained up behind her while she stares down into a basin of water and speaks about justice. One of the Greek goddesses (???) starts to give Athena grief over her use of the word “justice”. The unnamed Greek goddess points out that she stole Athena’s identity and left her for dead. What? This isn’t Athena? Well then who is this mystery woman? The fake Athena’s face begins to melt away and I have to turn the page to see what happens next.
The first thing I see upon turning the page is Clark Kent with a 6-foot long golden necktie wrapped around his neck with one end of the necktie being held by a cyborg Sinestro Corp Superman. Clark Kent’s shirt is torn open exposing his Superman costume underneath. Worse, he’s not wearing his glasses. Without his glasses, people will know that Clark Kent is Superman! The cyborg Sinestro Corp Superman is wearing Clark Kent’s glasses. I then realize that this isn’t part of the Amazons Attack story. No, this is just an extremely poorly placed advertisement for yet another DC Comics mini-series that promises to be just as retarded as this one.
The continuation of the story is on the next page. Talk about destroying the pacing of the story. Its a one-page splash showing someone who I assume is Bea Arthur all decked out in armor and laughing her fat ass off. Whats Bea Arthur doing in Amazons Attack? Thats it. The End.
I didn’t actually think this was in fact the actress Bea Arthur. Who then was it? After some searching on the Internets, I found out that it was someone called Granny Goodness. Who is that? What a ridiculous name. I’ve never heard of this character. I went to Wikipedia and did some research on Granny Goodness. It turns out she is a character created by Jack Kirby in 1971. She is part of Kirby’s New Gods series. How am I supposed to know that? I don’t mind having to do some post-comic book reading online research after reading a comic book. I really don’t. I cannot count how many times I’ve had to go to Wikipedia and look up something I wasn’t familiar with (father box). I just don’t know how I am supposed to know that a woman that looks like an actress from Golden Girls is a character created by Jack Kirby. In 1971. How about at least showing her name? It would make the required Wikipedia search so much easier.
And to think some people wonder why kids today shun comic books yet devour manga. You don’t have to know obscure manga trivia from over 30 years ago to read manga.
