Tuesday, March 27, 2007
No Trimspa, but lots of other stuff
Anna Nicole Smith’s autopsy report was released today. You can own your very own personal copy of her autopsy report by downloading the PDF file.
It seems Anna had quite a few pharmaceutical substances in her body. Oddly enough what was not found in her body (or her hotel room) was Trimspa, the over-the-counter diet supplement she was a paid spokesperson for. I guess the only thing Anna was taking from Trimspa was a paycheck.
There were a lot of people buying and taking Trimspa because they were led to believe that it helped Anna Nichole Smith lose a ton of weight. According to her toxicology report, she wasn’t taking Trimspa. She was taking chloral hydrate, Valium, Klonopin, and Ativan. She was also taking human growth hormone.
No Trimspa.
The autopsy report said that at the time of her death, she had a serious blood infection “caused from an abscess that had developed on her buttock as a result of so many injections”. Also noted on the autopsy report were things I never knew were even looked at by a coroner. For example, the report stated, “The vagina is normally wrinkled and contains no foreign material”. Normally wrinkled? No foreign material?
It also stated, “The anus is unremarkable”. It sounds like her actual asshole received a really bad job performance review. The kind you get and you just know you aren’t getting a raise.
I never realized that a coroner looks at your anus.
It almost makes me want to die in a massive explosion. I don’t want a coroner or anyone else rating or grading my anus. Maybe that’s only something they do for celebrities. I can only hope.
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I am totally calling bullshit on this coroner. If he had noted that any other part of Anna Nicole’s body was “unremarkable,” I’d agree with that.
But her bunghole? I am CERTAIN that is must have been remarkable in some way. Look at her fucking lifestyle, for chirstsake.
With all the comings and goings down there (pun intended,) I’m sure he could have mentioned something about it.
RIP, you unremarkable asshole.
I’m more interested in what would make this doctor consider an anus to be ‘remarkable.’
I guess you fellas didn’t bother to download the report and read it. The coroner said the same thing about any part of the body that wasn’t worth mentioning. It was unremarkable. In that it was not worth mentioning.
If I ever get around to forming a punk rock band, I am going to call it The Anus is Unremarkable.
I read the report on The Smoking Gun the other day. There were other remarkable things- like the infected ass and such. And her wrinkly, though normal, hoo-ha.
Also, I beat you to the punch. Unremarkable Anus will be releasing a single via the Comic Book Haters website sometime next month.
I’ve already approached Sanjaya about being lead singer for my new punk rock band, The Anus is Unremarkable, but he cannot commit until he sees how tonight’s vote works out.